As I Pray

As I Pray

Dear Heavenly Father

As I kneel down to pray

Thanking you for the blessings

You sent to me today

I know there are times

I could look to you more

And you would guide me

Toward the gifts you have in store

We sometimes forget

The very beauty which is you

And think only of ourselves

And it shows in what we do

I can only hope you can see

The true intentions of our hearts

And while we may not deserve

Please give us a new start

We sometimes forget

The very essence of who you are

And we are only reminded

As we glance up at the stars

You are an undeniable love

A truth some fail to understand

You are greater than every body of water

You are the true gift to man

I wanted to tell you

We sometimes fail to be

All that you had in mind

And in spite of your creativity

We tried to make this world

Our own selfish domain

And now it is our evil

That now seems to remain

Please give us a chance to

Mend all that we have marred

A chance to love each other

And heal all of the scars

If we stop abusing one another

And stand up for what is right

Stop creating boundaries

Make children safe at night

Once we start realizing the gift

Which once was our lives

Put down our weapons

Stop wielding the guns and knives

I promise we will try harder

Starting with this day

We will try to be peaceful

With all we do and say

And hopefully the next time

I come to you and pray

We can talk about the changes

We made along the way

Father in closing I say only this

More than you could possibly know

I am thankful for your guidance

And I do love you so

Waiting For You

Waiting For You

A pulse races

Faster every night

She should feel safe

Hidden out of sight

He knows every rhythm

Her heart beats so loud

Like a trapped animal

Again she was found

Bruises, scrapes and cuts

Scars so real

Another is placed

Before others have time to heal

No relief in sight

No help at her beckoned call

Afraid to reach out

She sees no peace at all

She knows people hear her pleas

For help like a beacon in the night

People watching all around

But still...no relief in sight

She is your mom or sister

Or someone she could be

It could happen to anyone

It should be easy to see

But as long as we turn

Away from her plight

We all become her abuser

With no hope in sight

Reach out for her hand

Even if it seems there is no need

You may be her only hope

Her only way to be free

Let the bruises on her face

Be a lesson to us all

Watch out for her stumble

Don’t wait for her to fall

Be the net she needs

To know God loves her too

Time is too precious

And she is waiting for you

Layers of Love

People are similar to onions. We all have many layers and there is not one simple trait or characteristic that will be the determining factor as to who or what I am. When we peel back the first layer you will find the physicality that attracts us all. It may be our shape, height, hair or eye color that draws people to us. But we must realize that this is a temporary fixation, eventually there must be more. For us to decide that what we see… is all that matters would be a sad truth. After all how can a physical feature tell you what kind of person I am? There is nothing about my eye color that will give you information about what kind of intelligence or spirit that I have. I didn’t stand in the line for eyes and request a specific color. It was chosen for me, at birth. Now on the opposite side of the spectrum, every week I can go to the pharmacy and choose from hundreds of boxes of dye which will alter the color of my hair; just as I can readily change my eye color. These changes however do not change that which I really am. It just makes me feel more appealing to myself or others; nothing about any of these parts of me will give you any insight as to me, as a person. If you are caught up in the curve of my spine or the way light shines on my face…you will be missing out on the many facets of me.  The contents of my heart and depths of my soul have been growing and evolving since the day of my birth…this is where my Creator lives; and therefore is the most important part of me. Unless you are willing to peel back the layers of what makes me…me. The essence of who I am may very well get lost. How many people do we over look, daily…simply because they do not have the “look” we are comfortable with? We will glance at them and decide, based on some ill advised judgment that they are not for us. What a shame it would be to miss out on the experience of another because we have narrowed our perceptions of people based on what we have grown accustomed to. Some of the greatest messages ever conveyed have come from the most unlikely sources. How disappointing it would be to not be aware when your message is coming to you. A specific hair color and tone of skin does not define the contents of our hearts and when we believe that it does…we become the losers in the scenario. The experiences of others can be like road maps for us. They can relay the traumas of their lives and we can learn from them so that we may never have to know the pain first hand. Who is to say what venue will be used to relay the message of God to us?
  Does the home I live in tell you who I am? It may tell you something about my income bracket or about my taste in décor…but is that all you want to know? There is some information that you can get from my home…such as my social preferences; rural locales over urban neighborhoods, mountains as opposed to the ocean, a gated community over a cabin in the woods, a bus line over a skyline. You may see what brings me peace or what is important in my life…for example I may prefer the sight of basketball courts over the sight of horses grazing in a grassy field. You may be able to tell if I have an eye or wallet for high end architecture…or maybe you can just tell what was important to me at the time that I moved in. I, however, will go out on a limb and tell you that all you learned…was my address. And what if my address was a homeless shelter or a park bench? What would you know about who I really am by that discovery? Perhaps if all you were searching for was information to use to degrade me or demean me…you will leave satisfied; but even that is only a portion of a story and if you are content with that…maybe you weren’t ready to know me anyway.
  If you had knowledge of my religious affiliation does that tell you who I am; I can understand how you may think that it might…but I will gladly show you how that is not enough information. It is never enough to know how or even if someone prays or worships because we have preconceived notions and ideas about religious or spiritual people. For instance, if I tell you that I am Jewish and on Tuesdays…I only eat pancakes…you may think that ALL Jewish people only pancakes on Tuesdays, but is that true? Of course it isn’t. But we tend to think that all groups of people are exactly the same. But all Christians aren’t the same, some are more devout than others and some don’t even believe the same…this is true of most people and most religions and philosophies.
  We are not the same and while we use our differences to separate us…it is how we were created so it is also makes us the same. We are as alike and dissimilar as snowflakes. Snowflakes are the same…they are, after all, snow. But snowflakes, when closely examined are completely different from one another. Do the differences of snowflakes separate them? Do we not still make snowballs and fall to the earth making snow angels with those very different snowflakes? So with that example we can say that even though they are different…they serve the same purpose. We are exactly like snowflakes. God made us with the same elements…love and peace; and while we have similarities…bones, blood, and skin, we are still different. Does that make one better than the other? Of course not, the only difference is that snowflakes do not spend their existence pointing out the “faults” in other snowflakes…and we do.
  Do yourself a favor…the next time you are tempted to point out how different someone is from you…or you them…count your similarities too. We all have our own journeys to take and the one constant of truth in that statement is that our path will forever be illuminated by God.

If You Are Listening

If You Are Listening...

 She is always a little reserved; some may say that she is shy. But I have seen this look before, she is not quiet...she is afraid. She only wants to walk through life quietly without conflict or confrontation; not realizing that what she is doing can not be called living at all. She wants friends, but who would understand the way she is forced to live? She can not even confide in the family and friends that she has now...without the threat of bringing the darkness to their doorway, as well.

  How would she live with the fact that someone she loved may be hurt or even killed simply because they stood by her? So she moves silently...careful not to draw unnecessary attention to herself or her life. She flies under the radar, this self-isolating being of God...praying silently that one day this will all end.

She falls to her knees in desperation. “Dear God, if you are listening...please make him stop”. “Please let me fall asleep forever”. But the next day will look very much like this one...he will watch her; even if he doesn’t speak to her. His presence will speak more loudly than words or actions...”I am here”. “I am not going away”. “I am in control”. “I can not be stopped”. “If you tell anyone, I will kill them...and you will know it was your fault”. And at the end of this day, again, she will pray.

  Understand, her story is not as unique as you may think. Most likely you know someone similar to her, as over 1 million women are stalked in the United States every year. And 89% of femicide victims, the misogynous killing of women by men, have been abused and stalked by their killers12 months prior to their murder.

  What these statistics show is that this is an ongoing problem in our nation. One way of bringing this issue into the light is to remind people that stalking...following...pursuing...and tailing people for the purpose of keeping tabs on them...is not a sign or symbol of love and affection. This is a crime. We need to stop placing blame on the victims of this offense and start pointing fingers at the assailant. We have no reason or cause to continually attack the victim by making excuses for the perpetrator. “If she had said no more loudly...”, “If she hadn’t smiled at him...”, “If she hadn’t worn that outfit”..., “If she had told someone”. She was not at fault...and chastising her will not make the situation get better; all we do when we criticize her...is empower the abuser.

  Stalking is a step below assault and murder. It is compulsive, controlling and violent behavior. We must become aware of this problem...by humanizing the women who are under attack. She could be your mother...your sister....she could be your daughter. Raise your hands up; this is not a big boys club. This is not about brotherhood, it is about mankind. Speak up whenever you can, put your foot down...take a stand against misogyny and femicide.

  Begin today, re-evaluate the way we treat the women in our lives. What starts out small can become enormous...and the beauty in that statement is that we can make it better. Create awareness. January 2012 is Stalking Awareness Month; be aware of this problem. There is no age cap on the female victims, embrace our children. Teach our young boys and girls about respect and boundaries. Guide these young minds and hearts...they are looking to you for support and leadership.

  Show love, by expressing your intolerance of abuse. Don’t make the assumption that the behavior is harmless just because no one has been harmed yet. And if you want to get an idea of what this behavior feels like, on the receiving end...try this exercise: Take down all the curtains, blinds and shades from all of your windows in your home. Leave all your doors wide open...including the front and back door, in fact even leave your bathroom door open; How safe and secure do you feel? How does it feel to think that someone may watch you while you are watching television, eating, sleeping, changing clothes, and bathing? Imagine that every day of your life is like this...are you having fun yet?

  We MUST make a change...in ourselves and then in others. Spend today showing love to all of the women in your life. It can be cold living in the shadows shame and doubt...tell her you love her...let the warmth begin with you.

Anything

Anything

Anything the light touches

Everything known to man

It all started

When your heart reached for my hand

My reason for smiling

The first thought of every day

Is how very much I love you

And it grows in every way

So blessed I have become

In simply knowing your name

And while I met beautiful people

On my path along the way

It feels like my life’s first breath

Began with that first hello

I felt you so deep

In ways you may never know

And if I ever fail

To make you feel divine

Know that I have your heart

As you have always had mine

You are my live unimagined

My wide awake best dream

My heart, my soul

You are my everything

On this unspecific day

In this non-particular note

You have become the best seller

Of the best story I never wrote

So when I raise my hand to God

With thanks for all he has done

No matter what else follows

You are always my number one

The number one reason

Our love is so refined

The number one reason

Each day is so sublime

The most amazing gift

I could have ever received

Giving me more love

Than a fantasy yet conceived

You are my purple spirit

You have become my shining light

Helping me stay focused

Whether during midday or still of night

I love you more every day

And thankful for whom you are

For such love is rarely known
Except amongst the stars

So my prince charming

I never needed a white horse

Because God walks beside us

And keeps us always on our course

 

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

    January always seems to be a time and occasion for new beginnings. It marks the beginning of a new year, and we are hopeful that this year will be better than the last. I, too, have that hope. I hope this year isn’t filled with as much loss and sadness as last year was; not only for me but for all those that the light touches.

  But no matter how I try and divide it, had it not been for the wonderful people in my life this past year...I may not have survived the sadness and loss. All of this goes back to my concept of life...everything has its season...and God brings all things into the light. I may have had moments when I was sad or even cried, but they were downplayed by the many minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months I had filled with smiles and laughter.

  While I can not deny the pain that I felt, I also could not hide the joy that our Creator bestowed upon me, as well. I learned that the best way to work through my sadness was to write. I not only wrote about what made me unhappy in my own personal life...but what made me sad with the world that we all live in. And although I am only one person, I was hopeful that if only one person read what I wrote...maybe they would tell someone else about it. We have a possibility to link to one another like a chain...and we could spread compassion instead of hate. It is a way of becoming one with our creator. And since we all have the attributes of God, similar to the way we have characteristics of our birth parents; we can choose to give love and become love.

  The sadness I had felt periodically through out the year was very real; and while focusing on other things did not make the emotions go away...it did help steady me. I could concentrate on what was making someone else sad or concerned. I could lend my shoulder or ear to my fellow man/woman...hoping to show them that they are a significant part of my life; furthering the idea that we are all one.

  My heart broke for the children dying in the Horn of Africa; and whilst I could not feed them...I could bring them into my writing. I could pray for them and those who were in a position to help them. I could sign an online petition and write about the drought and the deaths occurring as a result of that drought. I could link my writing back to an informative video, petition or information link...so if nothing else, I helped create awareness. This gave me hope, because finally I felt like I was not only a drop of water in a bucket...but the beginning of a downpour. If I could take a small step, perhaps someone else would, as well. In January of last year there were people who had no idea what was going on in the Horn of Africa, and some didn’t even know where it was. However, by December, we could no longer claim ignorance. Yes, we could still choose to do nothing. We could sit around on our hands or point fingers at others...but we could no longer say, “I just didn’t know”. The actions we take from this point on would be an informed action...even if the only action we took...was to do nothing.

  Also in this past year, we came face to face with the death penalty. And although our feelings and thoughts on it were clearly divided...we allowed ourselves to have the conversation. This is also another sore spot in my heart, as I feel without a doubt that ALL life is precious. Even though we may not agree about the issue, this year, via the Troy Anthony Davis execution, we were all able to voice our opinions. Again this is a sad situation, but we should at least rejoice in the fact that we got the opportunity to have the conversation. And I do pray in the coming year and many more to come that the rest of the country will join the 15 states that have taken away the death penalty. Hopefully we will see that punishment should be just that and not retaliation...murder is murder.

  In 2011, we became painfully aware of our children and the issues that bullying has on them. We learned that it is no longer that kid on the corner waiting to steal lunch money. Bullying has gotten much more perverse, violent even fatal. As parents we need to be proactive before we must become reactive. Our children are dying, not only at the hands of other children...but at their own hands. The number of teenage suicides is on the rise and this is largely due to other teenagers. We must watch our children. Be aware of the social networking that they participate in...Bullying does not just happen in the classroom, but online and via text messages. Being a teenager is difficult, and being a parent just became more difficult. Watch your children...do they find humor at the expense of other children? Watch for the signs of bullying...or even worse....complacency. If your child does not speak up for the child that is being harassed...they are contributing to the abuse of that child. Create a dialogue with your children...their lives have just gotten dangerous. When you are aware that your child is not “NICE”...and you don’t speak to them...it is similar to letting them walk out of your home to go school with a gun in their back pack.

  2012 is a year of hope; a year of reflection. We can be the change we are always looking for by using the experience of 2011. I pray that you use the love of our creator in all that you say and do.

   

The Definition of Me

The Definition of Me

There is no specific formula

Or no particular clue

About the person I really am

And how it relates to you

The color of my hair

And the tint of my eyes

Can easily be changed

But does that mean it’s a lie?

You will never know the real me

Unless you choose to take part

In the inner beauty

Where it ends and where it starts

Luckily for you

I want to show you the signs

Of what is not me

But a part of my design

I can not be defined by the

Religion I may keep

Or by the house I live in

Or the shoes upon my feet

You can not believe that

In only one day

That you know all there is to know

When there is so much to say

I am divine love

I am inner peace

I am my own path

And the truth that I seek

I am loved by God

And His path is mine too

So everyday I will say

How much He loves you too

I am every color of the rainbow

Not just a tone of my skin

And while you may think you know me

You can not ignore what is within

Within my earthly body

Beyond the flash of my smile

I will guide you toward God

And ask that you stay for a while

If you desire to know me

As I want to know you

Stop pointing fingers

In all you say and do

Remember to love your neighbor

No matter4 who they may be

And appreciate your differences

Or the similarities you may see

The definition of whom

I have always been

Is not found on the outside

But the woman within