The Face of God

The Face of God

The thing about God’s light

It can show up in an unexpected place

A flower growing out of a sidewalk

Or in the innocence of a child’s face

It can show up out of nowhere

Like in the breaking dawn

You hear it in the chirp of birds

Or the first steps of a fawn

You can hear Our Creators light

In the laughter of a child

It’s His way of reminding us

That life is certainly worthwhile

I have heard God’s light

In my sorrow...yes even in my grief

It steals away my sadness

Like a most welcome thief

It’s His way of showing us

That we are never alone

By giving us the proof of life

And how it does go on

What love a father shows

When He wipes aside a tear

And warms us without a single touch

But the knowledge he is near

He shows the balance of His love

Because even in the heart break of death

He reminds us life goes on

As we watch a newborn take the first breath

It’s hard to remain bitter

When the most beautiful sounds

Can be experienced flying over head

Or walking all around

Have you ever sat on a park bench

And just listened to children play

Not worrying what tomorrow brings

Living only for today

I believe this is the true message

That only love of God can bring

He who has the gentleness of a lamb

The royalty of Our King

So when the day gets heavy

As we all know that it can

Smile at the adversity

Relying on the word of no man

I tell you love each other often

I say smiling with a nod

Because when you love one another

You are loving the face of God

Words

Words

Words can feel like moon beams

On a cloudy day

Or they can destroy the hopes of man

Depending on what we say

They can lift our hearts

Like balloons flying high

Or they can bury our dreams

While all we can do is cry

Words can start wars

Over a simple boundary line

Our give us peace and love

From our Creator so divine

They can tear at our souls

Like a rabid animal at war

Or they can remind us about

The reason we were created for

Words can make the difference

In whether we win or lose

They can be used for good or bad

On that we get to choose

Words can build mountains

Or they can tear them down

They can even make us glad

That we chose to stick around

Words give us communication

And a way to wash away angst

We can use them to emit love

We use them to give thanks

As long as we remember

The words we select to say

Can destroy someone’s hopes

Or brighten up their day

We should use our words as

Stepping stones for greater things

To remind those around us

Of the hope a word can bring

It isn’t just four lettered words

Which diminishes our light

But words like hatred...indifference

Which make our world less bright

So sing the praises of our ancestors

And other wise light seeking beings

To help us to stay focused

On the beauty of all living things

Sing about love and passion

Of the world above and right here

So when our children hear the melody

They will know God is near

One Day

One day

Once blue skies filled with dark clouds

Birds struggling to fly

Blue waters of the oceans polluted

And we stop and wonder why

Cans laying along the roadsides

Factories running all night

Not even a Native American crying

Made everything alright

And when my daughter asks me

Why the glaciers are starting to melt

I tell her because man is careless

Thinking what a poor hand she was dealt

Starving children in Somalia

With little water there to drink

And we stand on the outside watching

Not knowing what to think

I mean is it really our problem

What is happening to them?

Or is it Gods will to kill

Innocent women and men?

Take away a few forests

What harm can that do?

It’s not like I live in a tree

Why does it bother you?

A hole in our ozone layer

Like a slow leak in a balloon

Exposure to gases and dangerous sun rays

Are problems but only a few

Large company vessels spilling oil

Into our oceans far and wide

Destroying aquatic creatures

We are killing everything... she cried

People all over the world are dying

War is in the air

Planets and animals are disappearing

Why doesn’t anyone care?

Every time I mention

Our world and this plight

All the adults say is...

Everything will be alright

But I see no plan

No way to make it better...they admit

But if you cant fix things

Can you at least stop breaking it?

They say it’s not the end of the world

Everything will be okay

But really...it’s what you plan to do

...not what you say

So she hailed in a voice so strong

It made my heart swell

I will not stop until things are better

Even if I have to yell

This is not what God had planned

When He created us one and all

We were supposed to love each other

Regardless of how big or small

Every tree that is cut down

Is another creatures home

And they can’t check into a hotel

They have no one they can phone

It is up to us to step up

And stand up for the cause

Too many things are going wrong

And after a brief pause

She stood up and looked at me

And said I will ask God too

I know He will have the answer

He will know what I can do

Because there is no doubt

Of the beauty in His sight

He will help to fix the problems

And make everything alright

He will help me tell others

To stop killing His earth

And remember we are all one

And we all have great worth

I can not remember being more proud

Of my angel than on that day

Because I knew she wouldn’t rest

Until she had found a way

So in keeping up my special promise

To take a step and do my part

I will ask each and everyone

To do what is right...look within your heart

Treat each other with kindness

Do not tear each other down

Love one another always

And enjoy the peace you have found

Be loving to your environment

Stop destroying what He has made

Maybe we can make up for our sins

And He will forgive us one day

The Day My World Shook

The Day My World Shook

  The ground shifted under my feet, did she say cancer? No, there must be a mistake. I just came in for a check up a few days ago...life was normal. Did she say cancer? No, she has me confused with someone else. Things like this don’t happen to me. I must have looked at her like she was speaking in a foreign language, because she just looked back and didn’t utter a word. I felt her touch the top of my hand...I snatched it back like she sent an electric charge through my skin. No, don’t console me. She was wrong. Do I look like a cancer patient? No. I do everything right. I am kind to people. I watch what I eat. I exercise. I pray. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to people like me. I keep muttering to myself...what did I do wrong? I spoke a little too loudly. She responds as if I am asking her the question. She says there is often no explanation as to what causes a woman to start producing cancerous cells. Did she say cancer again? I shake my head in disbelief...will someone make her stop saying that?

  She asks if someone was with me, because we needed to discuss treatments. Of course no one was with me...this was just a check up. Treatment, did she say treatment? Ummm, how do we get rid of it?  She smiles. Why was she smiling? There is no cure for cervical cancer. No cure? Okay, yeah, I knew that. Breathe...don’t forget to breathe. Do not pass out. I ask her, “Why do I have cancer”? She gives me the generic, “there is no way to know why exactly”. She went on about genetics, diet, and other contributing factors, but wrapping it up telling me that it may be none of the above. Why am I asking dumb questions? I know all of this. Wait, am I going to die? I almost couldn’t see her expression, blinking through my own tears. We are going to try and get it under control before we have to think about that. Try? Breathe...don’t forget to breathe, Wait, don’t breathe too hard...you are going to start hyper ventilating. It’s going to be okay, but you have to get a grip on your emotions right now.

  She starts telling me that she wanted to try and freeze the cells...but the disease is too progressive. We have to do a biopsy to see exactly what we are dealing with. My mind starts spinning. How did I get to this place?

  Two weeks ago I was in my friend Lisa’s car with our kids. She had asked me to go to the pediatrician with her. We are on our way home from the doctor and a dump truck ran a red light and turned across our lane from the opposite direction. It was like a cartoon...in slow motion. I remember saying to her...”is he going to stop”? He didn’t. He hit us head on. I remember my face hitting the dashboard a few times, because her car was old and only had lap belts. I remember lifting my face off of the dashboard...my eyes were closed. Did I pass out; maybe for a minute or two? Everything was still. When I lifted my face, blood was pouring out of it. I couldn’t let them see me bleeding, they will panic. I crawled out of her car. I was walking, although I am not sure where I was walking toward. A woman stopped me, she was afraid to touch me. I could barely hear her voice. Was she whispering? No, my ears are ringing. She asks me to sit down on the side of the road. She says she is a nurse from New York. She asks to check out my wounds. But I asked her to please check everyone else first. I sit down and put my face on my knees. There was blood all over my shirt and the upper portion of my pants were soaked in blood. I am feeling my teeth...okay, they are all here. She comes back and says the blood on my daughter’s head was not hers, but mine. I hear an ambulance. A guy I know stopped to check on us. He didn’t realize I was hurt until I lifted my head off of my knees. He saw my face and it looked like he was going to pass out too.

  I couldn’t get my mind together; my girlfriend had to answer the E.M.T.’s questions. I couldn’t remember anything about my health. She kept looking at me asking if I was okay. I could see her mouth moving; but I was looking through her. Did that dump truck driver really hit us? Why didn’t he try to stop? Luckily some guys ran him down and forced him to pull over. We would learn later during a court appearance that he was half blind, and was supposed to wear thick eye glasses. He wasn’t wearing glasses on the day of the accident. He could have killed us. We were lucky. For the most, all injuries seemed superficial. My face was severely bruised, so much so, that on my first doctors visit the nurse asked me if I was a domestic violence victim. Both of my eyes were black and blue. My face was swollen; my lip was cut open too. There were bruises on my thighs, ribs and across both of my breasts.

  It was the bruises on my chest that prompted me to visit my ob/gyn. I wanted make sure there were no lumps or anything like that since I hit the dashboard so hard. Now I remember, my doctor asked if I wanted a pap smear while I was there. I can recall thinking, no. But for whatever reason, I said yes.

  A week later here I am...living with cancer. My doctor said there was no telling how long I had actually had it. She said it could have been dormant in my system for a while, and the accident could have jarred something in me...causing it to spread.

  How do I go home and explain everything that my doctor just told me? I have cancer. I kept saying it over and over again in the car. I thought if I said it enough that by the time I got home that I could say it without crying. I decided instead of going straight home; I would go to see my sister. I needed a safe place to go, where I could fall apart...just for a minute. I just needed a minute. I kept praying all the way to her apartment...please God...let me have this one minute.

  I barely remember her answering the door. I just remember falling into her. She was confused. She kept touching my face, looking for a new injury. She was talking so fast...I couldn’t answer her. My mouth wouldn’t move. Finally I told her that my doctor said that I have cervical cancer...and I just fell apart. She kept saying NO...over and over again. She was crying so hard; I could no longer determine who was consoling whom. I told her that unless the treatments worked before it started spreading further...I might die. And she mustered up all of this strength and told me that wasn’t going to happen. She said she wasn’t strong enough to live without me, so there was no way that God would ever take me first. It wouldn’t be until this past year that I understood the truth of her statement, when she died unexpectedly.

  She was an angel to me in that moment. She went with me to tell my mom and the rest of my family and friends. It was no longer me having cancer, but us having it. During the entire ordeal, her faith and strength never waivered; she continued to be the glue that kept me together. I would end up having several rounds of radiation treatments. It would spread into my uterus before it finally went into remission for good.

  I wanted to share that experience with you, not to be entertaining...but to show you how God has led me to this place. I have always known that God will use me to shine light on issues...and hopefully we can all grow from it. Our Creator has a divine plan for us all and He uses experiences and circumstances as tools to guide us...and if we are paying close attention we can use those experiences to help one another.

  I wish you all peace and pray that you will continue to love one another...as God loves you.

  

Waiting For You

Waiting For You

A pulse races

Faster every night

She should feel safe

Hidden out of sight

He knows every rhythm

Her heart beats so loud

Like a trapped animal

Again she was found

Bruises, scrapes and cuts

Scars so real

Another is placed

Before others have time to heal

No relief in sight

No help at her beckoned call

Afraid to reach out

She sees no peace at all

She knows people hear her pleas

For help like a beacon in the night

People watching all around

But still...no relief in sight

She is your mom or sister

Or someone she could be

It could happen to anyone

It should be easy to see

But as long as we turn

Away from her plight

We all become her abuser

With no hope in sight

Reach out for her hand

Even if it seems there is no need

You may be her only hope

Her only way to be free

Let the bruises on her face

Be a lesson to us all

Watch out for her stumble

Don’t wait for her to fall

Be the net she needs

To know God loves her too

Time is too precious

And she is waiting for you

Anything

Anything

Anything the light touches

Everything known to man

It all started

When your heart reached for my hand

My reason for smiling

The first thought of every day

Is how very much I love you

And it grows in every way

So blessed I have become

In simply knowing your name

And while I met beautiful people

On my path along the way

It feels like my life’s first breath

Began with that first hello

I felt you so deep

In ways you may never know

And if I ever fail

To make you feel divine

Know that I have your heart

As you have always had mine

You are my live unimagined

My wide awake best dream

My heart, my soul

You are my everything

On this unspecific day

In this non-particular note

You have become the best seller

Of the best story I never wrote

So when I raise my hand to God

With thanks for all he has done

No matter what else follows

You are always my number one

The number one reason

Our love is so refined

The number one reason

Each day is so sublime

The most amazing gift

I could have ever received

Giving me more love

Than a fantasy yet conceived

You are my purple spirit

You have become my shining light

Helping me stay focused

Whether during midday or still of night

I love you more every day

And thankful for whom you are

For such love is rarely known
Except amongst the stars

So my prince charming

I never needed a white horse

Because God walks beside us

And keeps us always on our course

 

My Prayer

My Prayer

I pray that there

Will never come a day

When I will turn from you

 And walk away

I hope that we learn

From others mistakes

And keep striving forward

No matter how long it takes

I know that we can walk through life

Holding one another’s hands

Never judging or demeaning

Our fellow woman and man

I will open my heart

By closing all doubt

Sharing the love of God

Is what life is all about

Life is so fragile and

Sometimes far too brief

But we can rise above offenses

That are sometimes too steep

We can smile and create laughter

Among our family of God

Giving support and encouragement

With a smile and a nod

Love one another

Why is that too much to ask

When did kindness and peace

Become too much of a task

Cast aside the hate we have grown in our hearts

And realize our second nature is not war

Be kind to each other at any cost

Remember the reason we were brought here for

No executions or state sanctioned deaths

Are acceptable by His rules

Empathy, compassion, and understanding

Not guns ...should be our only tools

Once we can embrace the essence of God

And His attributes so divine

There will be no question what we should do

In your heart or even in mine

So I wish you love and inner peace

That with which we were made

Love your fellow neighbor

As you love thy self...is the lesson for today

Pay close attention to the word of God

And not the will of man

Once you do this it will become clear

You will then understand

There is no deed too small

Or no person so meek

Who cannot make a change

To fix a world so bleak

Remember the depths of the largest ocean

Started with a small drop of water...until one day

The skies opened up and God started to shine

And He willed it to begin to rain

It only takes the will of one man

To create the change that we need

One foot in front of the other

Baby steps...begin to follow His heed

Much joy and kindness

May your blessings exceed your sweetest thought

Give thanks daily

And His will be done...not purchased and not bought

I leave you with my final note

My humblest prayer

When your neighbor reaches out for you

I pray that you are there