Hate Ends Here

Hate Ends Here

  

February is Black History Month; and while I do intend on writing some pieces on the fabulous people of color in our great world, today I am choosing to write on something which I consider to be an epidemic...Indifference.

Now many will say, and recently I have read the disgruntled statements made about specific groups having holidays, websites, awards shows, television channels etc. And while these statements were made to create hate and chaos amongst the masses...I found it to be a perfect platform for what I know to be true about the world that we live in and the capability of mankind.

As human beings we waste so much precious time. We waste time separating ourselves from other human beings. Perhaps we do it because we have some need to want to feel more important; as children we all know how much better we feel if people are making a fuss over us. And it is only unfortunate that over the years we have come to realize that often when we are degrading or demoralizing another person...it is meant only to make us look shiny and new. Here in lies the problem, we aren’t shiny and new.

When we are attacking and trying to lessen the significance of another person or being...we are only fueling an old fire. Racial bias, prejudice, misanthropy, religious persecutions...are real problems that we have been facing for centuries. Isn’t it sad to know that for hundreds of years we have been stuck in the same place? We have been fighting a tug of war against ourselves and wondering why we aren’t advancing. When we set aside the hearts and souls of those around us...we become indifferent to the plight of mankind.

When we have to set a side a specific month to bring the focus on a particular group of people...it is only due to the fact that they have been overlooked in the world, at large. We should never have to search for how much a certain race or culture has added to our existence...as long as we include those beings in our daily acknowledgements of who brought us to where we are today. For example if all cultures of this country were equally represented in our public school curriculum then we may feel more balanced, over all.

But the painful truth is...we do segregate ourselves from those not exactly like us. We will find reasons to diminish the contributions that people of other races...religions...sexes or cultures have brought to our daily lives. We have gotten so frigid and cold that we don’t realize that we are doing it; until someone from a minority group points it out. Then we will use our only defense and say...he/she is an angry man/woman. That is when the gloves come on and it becomes a slapping contest. We will all try and diminish the accomplishments of one another in an attempt to make us feel better about ourselves.

We are ALL human beings...of one race. And given the way our paths are going we are not far from extinction. We have become destructive to each other and to ourselves. We find reasons to declare war on each other...as if we are the voice of truth and reason.

Our Creator has high expectations of us all. I know, at times, it can seem difficult to fulfill such a tall order and we can become overwhelmed. But we need not feel that it is out of the realm of what we are capable of. We are supposed to be able to love and lean on one another. And if it feels strange and unusual to love so easily...it is only because we may be out of practice and quite possibly we are in worse shape than I am even relaying to you now.

Let us show our children the way to God. They are depending on us to lead by example...so they can do the same for their children. Lift up one another. When we do that instead of tearing down one another, you can feel the change in the air. We start transferring good loving thoughts and energy to those around us. Let the cycle of life be a productive and prosperous one. Plant a seed of hope for someone who has feels lost...it’s like giving a road map of life to a person who has been driving around in circles.

Search deep within you for the compliment that you are hoping someone will say to you...and give it to someone else. Transfer sunshine through your smile; show the world that starting with you...the hate ends here.

Making Time

Making Time

Once upon a time

In a land far away

There were parents

Who made time to play

They sat down to dinner

And bowed their heads to pray

Then asked about school

And the rest of our day

They made time for their children

One and all

There was no problem

Too big or too small

They spent evenings together

And when nighttime fell

They rested comfortably

Knowing all was well

It seems long ago

And a fairytale dream

But those who remember

Know just what I mean

We should make time

Give thanks and praise

Make your children a priority

Every single day

Work and all else

Should always come last

Because when children start growing

It happens so fast

And what fonder memory

Would you want left behind

Than a child who remembers

A parent who took time

Time to say I love you

To say what is wrong

And listened to the story

No matter how short or how long

We all need to feel needed

And when you are a little one

Hugs are like flowers

And I love you is the sun

So take care of your young hearts

They need you to say

How important their lives are

And you love them always

As I Pray

As I Pray

Dear Heavenly Father

As I kneel down to pray

Thanking you for the blessings

You sent to me today

I know there are times

I could look to you more

And you would guide me

Toward the gifts you have in store

We sometimes forget

The very beauty which is you

And think only of ourselves

And it shows in what we do

I can only hope you can see

The true intentions of our hearts

And while we may not deserve

Please give us a new start

We sometimes forget

The very essence of who you are

And we are only reminded

As we glance up at the stars

You are an undeniable love

A truth some fail to understand

You are greater than every body of water

You are the true gift to man

I wanted to tell you

We sometimes fail to be

All that you had in mind

And in spite of your creativity

We tried to make this world

Our own selfish domain

And now it is our evil

That now seems to remain

Please give us a chance to

Mend all that we have marred

A chance to love each other

And heal all of the scars

If we stop abusing one another

And stand up for what is right

Stop creating boundaries

Make children safe at night

Once we start realizing the gift

Which once was our lives

Put down our weapons

Stop wielding the guns and knives

I promise we will try harder

Starting with this day

We will try to be peaceful

With all we do and say

And hopefully the next time

I come to you and pray

We can talk about the changes

We made along the way

Father in closing I say only this

More than you could possibly know

I am thankful for your guidance

And I do love you so

Dear Santa

Dear Santa

Dear Santa, children will write you all over the world

Telling you they have been good boys and girls

Asking for gifts as rewards for the deeds

Hoping you will fulfill all of their needs

Some will want cars and some will want trains

Some will want dolls and video games

They will hope you come through while they are sleeping

But I have a wish that I have been keeping

I don’t want a present wrapped and topped with a bow

Or battery operated toys that will stop and will go

My wish is for love for people one and all

No matter how short regardless of how tall

I want countries at war to lay down their arms

And learn to love each other and do no more harm

I want daddies and mommies to come home safe and sound

Placing smiles on faces that have only seen frowns

I want children without food to know what it’s like

To have their stomachs filled for more than one night

Santa I need patience...as I learn my way

And hope for tomorrow ...as it’s a new day

I want forgiveness for those who haven’t been nice

Warm their hearts with joy and melt all the ice

Tell the people in foreign lands that they are our brothers

And we are now ready to start...loving each other

I know what I want won’t fit under a tree

It’s my hope for the future...for you and for me

Remind my fellow man the true intention of my heart

Maybe he will forgive me...and we can make a new start

So if you get a chance to read this letter

Tell God I promise next year we’ll do better

The Reason For The Season

 

  I think that sometimes we can get lost in the commercialization of things this time of year. The proof of that is everywhere we look. Every store or shop seems to have their own idea of how to make the season more festive and memorable than the year previous.

  This year, however, has been a little rougher for me than most have been...which I believe is a test of my strength and willingness to submit to the will of our Creator. So I have sat and endured every Christmas cartoon known to man...I have watched store Santa’s posing with pictures of children who would rather be ducking and weaving in and out of a four lane highway. I have watched retailers attempt to make their sales and “bargains” look like what we might want Christmas to be. All of this, isn’t always a bad thing...it’s always nice to see the excitement of children and the hidden secrets that this particular holiday seems to bring.

  This year was completely turned around for me...I was all ready to become “Scrooge”. And in my mind, I had reason to. Then something wonderful happened in my life...I experienced the love of God through the heart of my daughter.

  First you must understand, she is a teenager...not unlike most teenagers. She wants things, and she knows that there will be things that no matter how much she wants them, or how much I wish I could get them for her...she just won’t receive them. But this brown eyed beauty decided that this year for Christmas she wanted to play Santa Claus for a child on her school’s “Angel Tree”. Keeping in mind that she knew that by us buying for another child meant that her lean Christmas list...just went on a diet. She didn’t care. I remember the day that she was talking to me about it...tears in her eyes. She just wanted to make a child happy for Christmas. And so we went shopping for this sweet 2 year old boy that she didn’t know and would never meet. We got him a few things...which she picked out. She went home and wrapped them and placed them in a giant gift bag and took them to school.

  I can not even begin to express to you the joy that I felt through her at that moment. But I can only really think of one comparison which may assist in my lack of descriptive prose. Watching her was like the feeling I would get as a young child coming in from the cold. I would get to drink this giant coffee cup filled with creamy Hot Cocoa...you know the kind I mean...with the foam on the top from the giant melted marshmallow that used to be there. When you drank it, it was like your body was literally thawing out. There were parts of my body that were coming to life that I didn’t even realize were frozen.

  My daughter became that for me...a sweet, warm, smiling example of that chocolaty goodness. And the real magic was...she made everyone feel that way. We all laughed and sang songs and smiled at everyone today.

  All of this made me think about the saying...the reason for the season; it was like a light bulb came on. The reason for the season...is to give to others that in which we are given. It isn’t about video games or wish lists. It is about reflecting the love that God has given us...and sharing it with everyone else.

  It may be true that we don’t have as much as the next person, but what we have is intended to be shared. I always try to remind others of our blessings, because we can get caught up in what we don’t have and we forget what we do have. We may not have tons of presents under the tree, and as true as that is...there will be people who not have a home to put a tree...never mind the presents underneath. We may not have a huge Christmas feast, but there are people who will not have food to eat on Christmas at all...or any other day. We will miss those we lost this year and our hearts may weep for them...but there are people who will spend this holiday all alone. Can you imagine living on this huge planet and feeling like you are all alone?

  Today my daughter warmed our hearts...by simply opening hers. I hope it is an example that is set not in vain. Reach out for someone today, touch their hearts and don’t be afraid to warm their souls. God only asks that we give to others what HE has given to us...HIS LOVE. It costs nothing to love one another. If the only present you give to someone is your time...it is time well spent. Shine on one another...the reflection is that of our Creator.

Resolving My Resolution

Resolving My Resolution

  Every year around this time people talk about resolutions, I guess that makes sense...wanting to start off the year with a clean slate. There will be millions of promises of cutting calories, avoiding alcohol, cutting back on spending, and various other habits that we may want to change. All of which is good, I know that I am always aware that there are things that I could do to improve upon myself.

  But, even in knowing this information, I don’t really do resolutions. I feel like I am setting myself up for failure that way. I never say this year, this month, or even this week...I will give up...anything. Why? Well, because for me, life is a moment at a time. If I can make it through today, being a little stronger...a little kinder...for myself and those around me...then I am a success. I will mess up. And since I am human, I allow myself that reality. But the real beauty is found in the fact that even though I may not be perfect...tomorrow I will again attempt to do better.

  I will speak more softly and less rapidly. I will try and listen more intently. I will try and avoid those tempting conversations that I know will grow to become a war of wills. I will attempt to show people how very much I love them, with all that I say and do. I will continue talking to God and pray that the intentions of my heart remain as pure as they were when I was a child.

  And just as certainly as I have written this...I will fall short. I know this may sound like I am giving myself a “free pass” to fail...but it is really just a matter of saving myself from my most destructive critic...me. I learned long ago that the bar I set for myself is, more times than not, unrealistic. I tend to hold myself accountable for the actions of others...thinking that if I had just done a little more, maybe I could have made a difference. But the sad reality for me is that we all are responsible for ourselves. We all have the knowledge that everyday is a new day; a new beginning. We can learn from our shortcomings, or those of others. We can add to the light of others or we can splash water on their flame...it’s a new day.

  I don’t really need a resolution to remind me that I should push myself away from the table a little sooner, or that I didn’t really NEED that new dress. But these are lofty goals, and I can accept them as such. The definition for resolution is to make a firm decision to do something; the process of resolving something such as a problem or dispute. So, for myself, I would find the resolution for world peace to be a good resolution...although perhaps one that we should work at everyday, and not just on New Years Eve. I would resolve to end hunger, in the Horn of Africa and every where in the world, I would resolve to end senseless killing on the global front, as well as in our own back yard. I would pray that we would stop rationalizing the killing of people by the state. I would resolve that we stop creating barriers as a means to avoid our own inner conflict.

  These are real problems or issues...so perhaps if we all resolved to work at these...all the other changes that we want to make would come a bit easier.

  I would resolve that everyone would read about something or someone that they know very little about...for with education our bounty is limitless. I would resolve that we become more compassionate about our fellow man and woman. We may learn from the very people we are careful not to touch with our hearts. I pray we stop sitting in judgment of others, lest we be judged. I hope we rally around the fact that together we are united...and as history has proven...divided we will fall.

  I wish one day that we could all sit at one giant table, and have a conversation about our day and our plans for tomorrow without fear of letting our hearts be touched by those we have been led to believe are less than us. I trust that if we open our hearts...love will lead us back to the Creator.

  Living in despair out of fear that has been bred in us causes us to lose hope. We often are walking in the blind...never quite realizing that we are making life more difficult than it has to be. I understand hesitancy. I understand it because I have been hurt before. I have reached out to someone just to have my hand burned by their flame. But had I hesitated, as a reflex from that experience...I would have not had the pleasures of my life. Instead I walked on, my head held high...knowing that the gifts of Allah/God are worth the risk of the pain.

  So in the New Year...I wish you hope...love...peace...compassion and the ability to see past what you think you know. Find a beautiful place, within your heart, mind or soul and focus on it with this thought: if you have it within you someone else also has it within themselves. Focus on your higher purpose...give back and lift up...not only for a New Year, but for a new life. Give our children a reason to smile...become the example that we all search for. Give thanks, for with God...the possibilities are endless.

 

Precious Moments

Precious Moments

If I had taken a picture

For every time you smiled

I would have a creation of love

That would span across the miles

If I had known this small hand

Would give my heart wings

I would have held it more often

And forgotten lesser things

If I had imagined that there were angels

With silken flowing hair

That gave God’s love freely...

By simply breathing our air

I would have hugged you more often

And frowned so much less

I would have dipped your dreams in chocolate

In spite of the mess

I would have understood that smiles are hugs

We give our broken hearts

And it doesn’t matter when you finish

Only that you start

I would have seen that life isn’t

Always what we thought

And our souls cannot be purchased

And God’s love cannot be bought

I would have lined your path with rainbows

And little pots of gold

And given you more love and peace

Than your little hands could hold

I will not feel bad

About the things that I regret

About all of the goals

That I still haven’t met

Instead I will give you

All I have and hold dear

This is the knowledge

That God led you here

So beautiful soul

Wherever your heart lands

I want you to know

That I finally understand

God has no boundaries

And has no sense of time

But out few precious moments

Are priceless treasures of mine

Stop the Violence

Stop the Violence

  Today is Stop the Violence Day. Even in writing that it seems ridiculous to have to say. As children we are taught, from an early age, to be kind to one another. We have religious books that will tell us to be kind to our neighbors, and to want for our brothers and sisters what we want for ourselves. And since I doubt that anyone wants death and destruction brought upon themselves or those that they love...I doubt we are thinking of it in that way.

  Violence has become a way of life for most of our world. And to support the violent action we are often making excuses for it to continue...both on the domestic and global fronts. We will often hear an abusive person making excuses for his/her behavior stating that they were led to that dark place...often by the victim. When we hear such an outlandish statement, we often shake our heads. And we react in this way because it is juvenile for us to believe that another person could lead us into such violence. After all, we are individuals. We have our own minds and thought patterns. We certainly can not be led astray by another individual...can we? We couldn’t become so angry that we would want to strike someone that could be considered weaker than us, could we? We couldn’t actually hope for people to believe that a child could do something so awful that they would need to be battered or bruised...but do we?

  Tempers flare, but we are responsible for those actions. And if we can not control the actions of our bodies or mouths...we should reach out for help. I learned some startling statistics that I wanted to share with you, so that we could see this problem in black and white.

1.   In South Africa 1300 women are raped everyday

2.  In the United States, 683,000 forcible rapes occur every year

3.  Child abuse is reported every 10 seconds

4.  Every 9 seconds a woman is beaten

5.  5-6 children will die from complications of abuse every day

6.  Most Rapists commit 10 rapes before they are caught

7.  4 million women a year are seriously abused every year

8.  1 in 5 high school girls are sexually or physically abused by a partner

  These statistics, while startling are completely factual. There is nothing worse than being abused. This violence has to stop. We are literally killing each other...every single day.

  No one...has the right to put their hands on another living soul. We do not have eminent domain over another person. People are not property. We can not be held or contained and if we are...it is a violation of our civil rights. It is criminal to make anyone do anything against their will...whether spoken or implied.

  I pray that we use this day as an example of how we are supposed to live. We need to learn to live in harmony, with ourselves and others.

For the Love of a Child

For the Love of A Child

  Today is Universal Children’s Day. It is the official day when we are prompted to celebrate the children in our lives. We are to remind the children around us that they are far more important than they could conceivably imagine.

  How does one celebrate this auspicious occasion? We simply take time, and give time...to those little hearts and minds that we love so much. I know we can get busy...there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day. But just like we re-arrange our lives for an impromptu conference or business meeting...we simply just need to pencil our children in. We need to take this day off. We need to center our day on the people that bring us joy, simply by smiling. We celebrate the fact that these little miracles...create GREAT joy.

  It isn’t necessary that we spend a month’s salary on this day either...because all they really want is our time. One afternoon walk with a child could right a lifetime of wrongs. Holding your son or daughter’s hand can be the most loving thing, and it only costs us our time. Touch can be the universal language...because children understand that feeling. Words can get lost in translation...we can say something and forget we said it. But touching someone’s hand or rubbing their soft cheek says...you matter to me.

  Create a family dinner together...allow your child to add ingredients in a bowl, or set a table. Make a menu that is kid friendly...incorporate your child’s ideas when planning your meal or dessert.

  Turn off your television, don’t go online...and silence your cell phone. Place any distractions out of your sight, all that matters today is being thankful and celebrating your child or the children in your lives.

  Listen to soft music, while finger painting or drawing with your child. Tell him or her about the things that you used to do as a child. Contrast the difference between life now and life then.

  Dig up old family photographs from when you were their age...talk about the different styles of clothes and hair. Create a family tree with pictures or memorabilia. Get a world map and talk about the places that you have been...and where your child might like to go. Create a “what if” vacation... see where your child’s imagination will take him or her. Write a story where he or she is the prince or princess. Make up a song telling about your day. Read a book that you read as a child. Tell them about the very first day that you laid eyes on them. Go to a museum, or art exhibit; simply enjoy the fact that today...you are blessed. You get to spend time with this sweet heart...you get to give thanks to God...by appreciating this gift of love.

  Why do we celebrate Universal Children’s Day? We celebrate this day because life can move very quickly. Often, we struggle to keep up with the fast pace of our lifestyles. Unfortunately, there are times when we fail to remind ourselves that the people that we love...are more important than any other person or situation in our lives. This is the world’s chance to embrace the love of a child. Children love freely, without reservation. Children never worry about loving too much or being loved too little. They are the semblance of innocence and purity...they are symbolic of all things great and small; true proof that big things come in little packages.

  I have never found anything as moving as the love of a child. There is little more peaceful than watching an infant napping. These small bundles of joy truly are angels on earth. They warm the coldest of hearts. I feel certain that was their purpose all along. Somehow the voice of a child can tame the savage beast. Most of the time our children are in awe of us, even when we feel that we aren’t exactly who we wish we were; children think we are great just because they love us. And because they love us...we are great. On this day we can enjoy the fact that we are viewed with rose colored glasses.

So on this day...join me in celebrating the lives of these tender warriors. Let us use these wonderful people as an excuse to love each other a little more.  And I pray that we will all make the world a safer more loving world; for who is more deserving of peace and joy than the world’s children.

May I Be Excused?

May I Be Excused?

In life, sometimes things just happen...things come together and occasionally they will fall apart. We can not really say how long things will last, and since everything has its purpose under the heavens, the blessing is in the experience.

  Relationships will come and go, marriages can fall apart. It is a sad reality for most of our population. I suppose there are countless reasons why marriages don’t seem to last as long as they did when my grandparents were brought together. I feel certain that the public acceptance of divorce just made the separation a little easier, for some. I am of the belief that when people initially get married it is with the hope that it will last much longer than it usually does.

  While separation can be a sad decision for the adults involved, my concern is not for them. As adults we have the ability to move ahead; we can go forward and deal with whatever life throws our way. My true concern lies with the children, whom have never had to deal with the stigma of a broken home.

  Honestly, I never cared for the term “broken home”. What would make a home broken? Truthfully, two parents can live apart and still actively participate in their children’s lives, effectively. So I don’t believe that term is accurate in that situation. But when the family is actually torn apart, when there is REALLY an absent parent...physically and emotionally, real damage occurs. Broken homes are created by abandonment, neglect, isolation; we break promises and because of that...we break hearts.

  In actuality, the home isn’t broken...just our children’s hopes and dreams. I’m not suggesting that parents stay together for the sake of the child, that doesn’t always create the best atmosphere for the kids either. But I am saying that the “out of sight out of mind” adage can be a sad truth.

  Children are precious, true proof that God exists. When we are blessed with the love of a child, there is nothing that will ever compare to it. I have often heard divorced parents say that they love their child, unfortunately, in more cases than not...it is followed by a “but”. I have heard every excuse imaginable...I have to find myself...I need to get my life straight...I even heard someone say that their child is better off without them.

  But in my opinion, none of those excuses even matter. While we are getting ourselves together, our children our growing; they are experiencing their “firsts”. While we are finding ourselves, our children are learning who they are and what they want to do with their lives. Our children are crawling, walking, and running. Our children are learning how to drink and eat all by themselves. They are going to school for the very first time, they are losing their first tooth. They are playing sports, making friends and making drawings to post on the refrigerator. They are starting high school, dating, going to their prom, and graduating. But more importantly, while we are thinking that our children are better off without us...what our children hear is that our lives are better without them. Children, in this situation don’t think that we divorced their mother or father...they think we divorced them. Children will blame themselves, for anything and everything.

  Before we know it, our kids are grown. And when our grown children come to us and ask why we didn’t love them enough to call or visit...what will we say? What do we say when our grown children demand answers that a joke or toy won’t answer? What do we do when our, once smiling sweet children, become angry and bitter adults? Who do we blame then?

  What do we say when we pray? What do we pray for when we failed to appreciate the gift that our Creator gave us, when we were made parents? What excuse can we give to the one that knows our excuses are just excuses?

  I pray it isn’t too late for you...once we lose time it can’t be bartered back. We can not purchase love. We can not go back in time. Smiles create memories...and memories make life worth living. Handmade birthday cards and macaroni necklaces mean more than any soul searching mission ever would.

  You need only remember this, the most important position that you will ever have is parenthood; and the pay is more rewarding than diamonds or pearls...because children pay you in butterfly kisses. See that smile? It’s the start of another memory...make a few more.

Did You Know

Did You Know?

    I try and write as much as I can about parents and their children…for I know that parenting is the most important job you will ever have. It is truly sad to know that so many parents take that job so lightly. We will have a million excuses for poor parenting…I work a lot…I am too tired to deal with them…and we will follow that up with an equally insulting remark such as…they know I love them. Shame on us…having and raising children is a gift. And we behave as if it is a chore which is inconvenient to us. Please don’t think that I am only referring to mothers…because I absolutely am not. It takes two people to have a child…one should not bear all of the responsibility.

  What lessons are you teaching your children? Are you counting on their schools to teach them all that they need to know? Because in case you didn’t know, let me be the first to say…the state of our public school systems is seriously lacking. What lessons are you, as parents, teaching your children? The important lessons…the lessons which will give them the tools that they need to be successful in the world.

  I am not referring to success in the financial sense…but in the sense where they are succeeding in being loving and kind to one another. Did you know that you cannot hug your child too much? Did you know that saying I love you…only cost you a moment of your time; but the chain reaction of those lessons will resonate in your child for a lifetime.

  Behind every loving adult is someone who showed them how to be loving. It is equally true to say that for every adult who exhibits hate or contempt towards others…there is someone who also taught them to be that person. We don’t have to tell our children how to love or hate…because they watch our behaviors…which is a lesson all in itself. It would be ridiculous for a man who physically or verbally abuses his wife or children…to tell his child to be kind to others. The lesson is found in the observation.

  Did you know that the child you are raising could be the next President of our country, Prime Minister, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, or more importantly…he/she could become someone else’s mother or father? That could be a vicious cycle…or a circle of love that will spill over onto everything and everyone your child ever comes into contact with. Children are not small adults…they are our hope for the future…who do you think makes them hopeful? We do. We are the foundation in which our children build upon…we need to take that seriously.

  Parenting is not easy…not for anyone…which is why everyone may not be up to the task. But for those of us who are parents…its time to step up…and stop making the same old tiring excuses. Did you know that being a parent can be the most rewarding position one could have in this life? Children learn how to be loving and peaceful by experiencing us and how we interact with others.

  We could learn so much from our children…I know because I have a walking smile that lives in my home…and I never doubt for one second how very blessed I am to be able to have the joy she brings to me everyday. She is not my responsibility…she is my reason for being.

  Have you ever just listened to children laugh when they are playing together? I have, many times, and it warmed my heart…I felt elated…it made me feel hopeful. Why does a simple laugh do that? A laugh or giggle from a child is Gods way of saying not to sweat the small stuff…and enjoy the moment. Always give thanks for the moment…because those days do not last long. Have you ever seen a baby smile while they are sleeping? It is one of the most precious gifts we are given.

  I know life can sometimes seem to spiral out of control…but we get to choose the pace in which we live…we can either run through it and hope our children can keep up…or we can walk with our children and stop to smell the flowers along the way. Truthfully, no matter which speed you choose…you are going to get to the same place…but if you walk with your child then you get to see the world through his/her eyes.

  I am asking you to appreciate every moment you can with your child, and stop behaving as if they are a task to be completed. Every time you think that your child is a bother…you should go and speak to a mother or father whose child succumbed to SIDS, or cancer. Go speak to a parent whose child was hit by a drunk driver…or speak to some one who cannot have children…ask them about being burdened with raising a child.

  We have one life…we can use it worrying about trivial things…or we can soak up every moment we have by showering ourselves in the love and laughter of children…you decide.

Blame

Blame

    I was thinking today about an incident that happened when I was a child which disappointed the people that I loved and who loved me the most. The circumstances really don’t matter, because it was the disappointment that I caused which bothered me the most. I was thinking about this today, and it made me think about what God must think of His creation as He looks down upon us. He, who created all things, made everything as it was supposed to be. I wonder how often He is disappointed when He peers down upon those that He loves so much. Do we even care? Does it matter to us now, while we are not only destroying each other, but the earth that we require for our existence? We have grown indifferent towards one another, at best. At worst, we find reasons to hate and kill each other…not just in the physical sense but in the sense that we constantly destroy each others spirit. We find reasons to not speak to people, unless it is to display our displeasure with one another. We don’t seem to know, or want to know one another. We find reasons to dislike or hate one another, based on skin tones…as if any of us had a choice in that matter; we dislike those who don’t believe in God…and we even dislike those that believe in a creator…but choose to worship differently than we do. We point fingers and make fun of those who have less than we have…as if we have been guaranteed to have these things while we are on this earth. We even have encouraged our children to do the same. It’s true that we may not have told them to be that way…but the strongest lesson ever learned truly is the one unspoken, but observed. Our children are literally killing each other…and all we do is place blame on others. We blame the parents, the neighborhood, the religion, or the race for any short comings. Of course, we couldn’t be at fault for any of this; after all we have our own problems. But just out of curiosity…shouldn’t our nation’s children killing each other be our problem? We complain about gangs and the violence they bring…yet we don’t look deeper. Would our children turn to gangs if they had communities that helped provide other options for them? Is that our problem? Well, I guess if we don’t live in that community, we could say that what happens there is not our problem…until the violence from that community comes into your community. Then the solution becomes easy…lock them up…or even better…let them kill each other. Is that the real solution? So instead of us reaching out to help these children, before they turn to gangs…we now have to deal with the result of the gang violence. What would it take for us to care what happens to these kids? Does one of your children have to be killed? Do we really have to let it get that far before we open our eyes to this nationwide epidemic?

  The answer is simple, no it doesn’t have to come to that…but often it does. Children cannot be held responsible for what their parents do or don’t have…they cannot help the fact that they do not have constructive avenues for their spare time. We cannot even say that they should get involved in extracurricular school activities…because our public schools have cut most of the Arts programs and even some of the sports…depending on how deep pocketed their particular school district is. Community centers could be the answer, but even that takes money…in a community that often cannot feed itself. This is where the problem arises, because we are all supposed to look out for each other. If we are ever going to live in harmony…we must reach out to each other.

  How can we expect children, the adults of the future, to be productive citizens if we are constantly showing them that “THEY” aren’t our problem? And sadly, the end result is an angry young adult; who will claim that he/she doesn’t care about anything. But most likely the real truth behind that anger is when the children ask themselves…why didn’t I ever matter to anyone? Can you imagine, being a child, and feeling like you aren’t good enough…which is his/her explanation as to why they have little or nothing?

 We, as a society, tend to only look down upon those that we feel fit a certain stereotypical group. How dare we be so obtuse in our way of thinking? Do we really think that there are people that deserve less than we do? I even heard someone tell me once that certain races are more genetically predisposed to violence than others. Ignorant statements such as these are toxic to the growth of our world.

  This is a continual cycle that spreads like an incurable disease…it seems almost hopeless. But the truth is…it is not hopeless. We weren’t born into darkness…we created or at the very least helped it grow. It is easy to shine God’s light on people…it doesn’t take millions of dollars. We start with one child at a time…give them acknowledgement, encouragement…for those of you that don’t know…that is called loving thy neighbor. For others it means wanting for my brother what I want for myself. What do we all want? What do we all need? Love…and it is our purpose and goal (or if not it should be) to love each other.

  Are your actions loving; even to those who do not know you intimately? Does your smile give others a reason to smile; or does it look rehearsed and in genuine? Do you even smile at all? If you find smiling difficult…find a reason to do it. Smile because you woke up today. Smile because someone looked at you kindly…or held a door open for you. Smile because someone else gave you a smile for no other reason than…to make your day brighter. Give that gift to another person…that…is LOVE.