One Day

One day

Once blue skies filled with dark clouds

Birds struggling to fly

Blue waters of the oceans polluted

And we stop and wonder why

Cans laying along the roadsides

Factories running all night

Not even a Native American crying

Made everything alright

And when my daughter asks me

Why the glaciers are starting to melt

I tell her because man is careless

Thinking what a poor hand she was dealt

Starving children in Somalia

With little water there to drink

And we stand on the outside watching

Not knowing what to think

I mean is it really our problem

What is happening to them?

Or is it Gods will to kill

Innocent women and men?

Take away a few forests

What harm can that do?

It’s not like I live in a tree

Why does it bother you?

A hole in our ozone layer

Like a slow leak in a balloon

Exposure to gases and dangerous sun rays

Are problems but only a few

Large company vessels spilling oil

Into our oceans far and wide

Destroying aquatic creatures

We are killing everything... she cried

People all over the world are dying

War is in the air

Planets and animals are disappearing

Why doesn’t anyone care?

Every time I mention

Our world and this plight

All the adults say is...

Everything will be alright

But I see no plan

No way to make it better...they admit

But if you cant fix things

Can you at least stop breaking it?

They say it’s not the end of the world

Everything will be okay

But really...it’s what you plan to do

...not what you say

So she hailed in a voice so strong

It made my heart swell

I will not stop until things are better

Even if I have to yell

This is not what God had planned

When He created us one and all

We were supposed to love each other

Regardless of how big or small

Every tree that is cut down

Is another creatures home

And they can’t check into a hotel

They have no one they can phone

It is up to us to step up

And stand up for the cause

Too many things are going wrong

And after a brief pause

She stood up and looked at me

And said I will ask God too

I know He will have the answer

He will know what I can do

Because there is no doubt

Of the beauty in His sight

He will help to fix the problems

And make everything alright

He will help me tell others

To stop killing His earth

And remember we are all one

And we all have great worth

I can not remember being more proud

Of my angel than on that day

Because I knew she wouldn’t rest

Until she had found a way

So in keeping up my special promise

To take a step and do my part

I will ask each and everyone

To do what is right...look within your heart

Treat each other with kindness

Do not tear each other down

Love one another always

And enjoy the peace you have found

Be loving to your environment

Stop destroying what He has made

Maybe we can make up for our sins

And He will forgive us one day

I Have a Dream Too

I Have a Dream Too

I also have a dream

That one day you will look at me

And accept me for whom and what I am

And not who you need me to be

I dream of a time when

I will be good enough too

And the world will see us as equals

I will be seen as good as you

The color of my skin

And the texture of my hair

My home land of origin

And the clothes I choose to wear

Will not determine my value

In your eyes

And you will not predetermine

Or start to surmise

The value of my character

The intention of my soul

Can not be determined

By what you have been told

I dream also of a day when

A boy and a girl alike

Can play together joyously

No matter how dark no matter how light

There will be no fear of racism

Or profiling of those unlike us

Because we all would have realized

It is wrong and unjust

I pray that the deaths of Dr. King

And those like

Him will not be in vain...and

We can all unite

As brothers and sisters under God

Joined with one common deed

To love and embrace one another

And somehow we can find peace

So this is the reminder

That I am sending to you

I also have hope and faith in God

And I have a dream too

My Mansion Far Above

My Mansion Far Above

I heard you crying

So I came right away

As I do daily

Usually to watch you play

Your eyes are filled with sadness

I saw you blink as a tear fell

I know the heaviness of your heart

But I’m here to say...all is well

I’m watching over you today

Like I have since your birth

And I am here to tell you

They do not realize your worth

But you must never let

Their ideas come to light

You are a child of God

Therefore a beauty in His sight

Let them judge your being

Those who are sad themselves

They will never know your path

And may never have your wealth

Because your wealth is not riches

At least not what they may find

But it is in your loving peace

Your inner light always shines

Please wipe away your tear my child

And always find your smile

You carry the TRUTH and the way

It is they who have been lost for a while

They have forgotten to remember

That all comes through ME

Sometimes life makes things clouded

But the light allows you to see

I will always watch over

My children...every one

And give them all my love

And when my work is done

They choose to live in darkness

Or the select to bask in My light

And what ever they may choose

I will keep them in my sight

For it is not the likes of you

Which makes your Father cry

But the ones who make the choice

To reject my mansion in the sky

But tomorrow again I will watch

And hope they will see My light

So I can embrace them

Knowing all is well throughout the night

I have watched you pray for hours

For those who seem to have less

I have seen you cry their tears

When they feel they have nothing left

I love you for your spirit

And your untainted soul

And your reward for this

Is a path paved in gold

Pray for the lost souls

Who are haunted in their sleep

Because of their lack of faith

And divine promise they failed to keep

Wish them peace and blessings

They need you...but cannot see

You are their path I have chosen

And you are bringing them to me

Remind them that they are loved

Even when they are walking away

Tell them God loves them

Even when they do not pray

Be kind to them my child

It is they who need love

And I will be watching

From my mansion far above

The Day My World Shook

The Day My World Shook

  The ground shifted under my feet, did she say cancer? No, there must be a mistake. I just came in for a check up a few days ago...life was normal. Did she say cancer? No, she has me confused with someone else. Things like this don’t happen to me. I must have looked at her like she was speaking in a foreign language, because she just looked back and didn’t utter a word. I felt her touch the top of my hand...I snatched it back like she sent an electric charge through my skin. No, don’t console me. She was wrong. Do I look like a cancer patient? No. I do everything right. I am kind to people. I watch what I eat. I exercise. I pray. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to people like me. I keep muttering to myself...what did I do wrong? I spoke a little too loudly. She responds as if I am asking her the question. She says there is often no explanation as to what causes a woman to start producing cancerous cells. Did she say cancer again? I shake my head in disbelief...will someone make her stop saying that?

  She asks if someone was with me, because we needed to discuss treatments. Of course no one was with me...this was just a check up. Treatment, did she say treatment? Ummm, how do we get rid of it?  She smiles. Why was she smiling? There is no cure for cervical cancer. No cure? Okay, yeah, I knew that. Breathe...don’t forget to breathe. Do not pass out. I ask her, “Why do I have cancer”? She gives me the generic, “there is no way to know why exactly”. She went on about genetics, diet, and other contributing factors, but wrapping it up telling me that it may be none of the above. Why am I asking dumb questions? I know all of this. Wait, am I going to die? I almost couldn’t see her expression, blinking through my own tears. We are going to try and get it under control before we have to think about that. Try? Breathe...don’t forget to breathe, Wait, don’t breathe too hard...you are going to start hyper ventilating. It’s going to be okay, but you have to get a grip on your emotions right now.

  She starts telling me that she wanted to try and freeze the cells...but the disease is too progressive. We have to do a biopsy to see exactly what we are dealing with. My mind starts spinning. How did I get to this place?

  Two weeks ago I was in my friend Lisa’s car with our kids. She had asked me to go to the pediatrician with her. We are on our way home from the doctor and a dump truck ran a red light and turned across our lane from the opposite direction. It was like a cartoon...in slow motion. I remember saying to her...”is he going to stop”? He didn’t. He hit us head on. I remember my face hitting the dashboard a few times, because her car was old and only had lap belts. I remember lifting my face off of the dashboard...my eyes were closed. Did I pass out; maybe for a minute or two? Everything was still. When I lifted my face, blood was pouring out of it. I couldn’t let them see me bleeding, they will panic. I crawled out of her car. I was walking, although I am not sure where I was walking toward. A woman stopped me, she was afraid to touch me. I could barely hear her voice. Was she whispering? No, my ears are ringing. She asks me to sit down on the side of the road. She says she is a nurse from New York. She asks to check out my wounds. But I asked her to please check everyone else first. I sit down and put my face on my knees. There was blood all over my shirt and the upper portion of my pants were soaked in blood. I am feeling my teeth...okay, they are all here. She comes back and says the blood on my daughter’s head was not hers, but mine. I hear an ambulance. A guy I know stopped to check on us. He didn’t realize I was hurt until I lifted my head off of my knees. He saw my face and it looked like he was going to pass out too.

  I couldn’t get my mind together; my girlfriend had to answer the E.M.T.’s questions. I couldn’t remember anything about my health. She kept looking at me asking if I was okay. I could see her mouth moving; but I was looking through her. Did that dump truck driver really hit us? Why didn’t he try to stop? Luckily some guys ran him down and forced him to pull over. We would learn later during a court appearance that he was half blind, and was supposed to wear thick eye glasses. He wasn’t wearing glasses on the day of the accident. He could have killed us. We were lucky. For the most, all injuries seemed superficial. My face was severely bruised, so much so, that on my first doctors visit the nurse asked me if I was a domestic violence victim. Both of my eyes were black and blue. My face was swollen; my lip was cut open too. There were bruises on my thighs, ribs and across both of my breasts.

  It was the bruises on my chest that prompted me to visit my ob/gyn. I wanted make sure there were no lumps or anything like that since I hit the dashboard so hard. Now I remember, my doctor asked if I wanted a pap smear while I was there. I can recall thinking, no. But for whatever reason, I said yes.

  A week later here I am...living with cancer. My doctor said there was no telling how long I had actually had it. She said it could have been dormant in my system for a while, and the accident could have jarred something in me...causing it to spread.

  How do I go home and explain everything that my doctor just told me? I have cancer. I kept saying it over and over again in the car. I thought if I said it enough that by the time I got home that I could say it without crying. I decided instead of going straight home; I would go to see my sister. I needed a safe place to go, where I could fall apart...just for a minute. I just needed a minute. I kept praying all the way to her apartment...please God...let me have this one minute.

  I barely remember her answering the door. I just remember falling into her. She was confused. She kept touching my face, looking for a new injury. She was talking so fast...I couldn’t answer her. My mouth wouldn’t move. Finally I told her that my doctor said that I have cervical cancer...and I just fell apart. She kept saying NO...over and over again. She was crying so hard; I could no longer determine who was consoling whom. I told her that unless the treatments worked before it started spreading further...I might die. And she mustered up all of this strength and told me that wasn’t going to happen. She said she wasn’t strong enough to live without me, so there was no way that God would ever take me first. It wouldn’t be until this past year that I understood the truth of her statement, when she died unexpectedly.

  She was an angel to me in that moment. She went with me to tell my mom and the rest of my family and friends. It was no longer me having cancer, but us having it. During the entire ordeal, her faith and strength never waivered; she continued to be the glue that kept me together. I would end up having several rounds of radiation treatments. It would spread into my uterus before it finally went into remission for good.

  I wanted to share that experience with you, not to be entertaining...but to show you how God has led me to this place. I have always known that God will use me to shine light on issues...and hopefully we can all grow from it. Our Creator has a divine plan for us all and He uses experiences and circumstances as tools to guide us...and if we are paying close attention we can use those experiences to help one another.

  I wish you all peace and pray that you will continue to love one another...as God loves you.

  

As I Pray

As I Pray

Dear Heavenly Father

As I kneel down to pray

Thanking you for the blessings

You sent to me today

I know there are times

I could look to you more

And you would guide me

Toward the gifts you have in store

We sometimes forget

The very beauty which is you

And think only of ourselves

And it shows in what we do

I can only hope you can see

The true intentions of our hearts

And while we may not deserve

Please give us a new start

We sometimes forget

The very essence of who you are

And we are only reminded

As we glance up at the stars

You are an undeniable love

A truth some fail to understand

You are greater than every body of water

You are the true gift to man

I wanted to tell you

We sometimes fail to be

All that you had in mind

And in spite of your creativity

We tried to make this world

Our own selfish domain

And now it is our evil

That now seems to remain

Please give us a chance to

Mend all that we have marred

A chance to love each other

And heal all of the scars

If we stop abusing one another

And stand up for what is right

Stop creating boundaries

Make children safe at night

Once we start realizing the gift

Which once was our lives

Put down our weapons

Stop wielding the guns and knives

I promise we will try harder

Starting with this day

We will try to be peaceful

With all we do and say

And hopefully the next time

I come to you and pray

We can talk about the changes

We made along the way

Father in closing I say only this

More than you could possibly know

I am thankful for your guidance

And I do love you so

Waiting For You

Waiting For You

A pulse races

Faster every night

She should feel safe

Hidden out of sight

He knows every rhythm

Her heart beats so loud

Like a trapped animal

Again she was found

Bruises, scrapes and cuts

Scars so real

Another is placed

Before others have time to heal

No relief in sight

No help at her beckoned call

Afraid to reach out

She sees no peace at all

She knows people hear her pleas

For help like a beacon in the night

People watching all around

But still...no relief in sight

She is your mom or sister

Or someone she could be

It could happen to anyone

It should be easy to see

But as long as we turn

Away from her plight

We all become her abuser

With no hope in sight

Reach out for her hand

Even if it seems there is no need

You may be her only hope

Her only way to be free

Let the bruises on her face

Be a lesson to us all

Watch out for her stumble

Don’t wait for her to fall

Be the net she needs

To know God loves her too

Time is too precious

And she is waiting for you