Apples

                                           APPLES

When I was 15 or so I remember coming home to my grandmother and I was crying. She, of course, was comforting and wanted me to tell her all about it. So I go on to tell her that no boys in my class liked me, and I remember that she softly laughed at me. She pulls me to her chair and said she has something she wanted to tell me, and that she hoped it would make sense to me. She said Women are like apples hanging on a tree...she said and all the best apples...shiny, red, full of flavor...sit at the very top of the tree. Now men, of course, want the apples...and this is the most important part. Most men will walk to the tree and see that they have to jump to get the apples at the bottom of the tree...but they don't want to put in any real effort so they are content to picking up the apples whose stems were so weak that they had fallen to the ground. Now other men will be willing to jump and pluck the apples on the lower branches...because they are easy to get...and very little effort has to be exerted. But then she said...there are those...very rare men who will be willing to climb up the tree, sometimes falling down, with scratches and scrapes...yet still climbing....to get to the very best apples. She said and those men are the ones who are willing to look past the obvious, go beyond the easiest....and settle for no less than the very best that you have to offer. These are the men that you want to wait for...because they will hold you high and love you deeply.

The Chain of Hope

The Chain of Hope

 I know that life can seem unfair. We often are faced with situations and circumstances that we are not prepared for. It can seem overwhelming at times. We can come to cross roads...where it can appear that we are left to our own devices. Sometimes we might feel like we have made poor decisions and now we feel trapped or snared...like a hunted animal.

  But what if we really aren’t trapped? What if the poor decision wasn’t really as negative as it appeared? What would you say if I told you that in the times that you feel at your weakest...it is then that God is at His strongest within you? When we are weakened...it is then when we submit to God’s will...so often those times are used to guide us down our true path.

  You might suggest that for me to even make such a suggestion that I probably had never been faced with such adversity. You would, of course be incorrect, but I can understand how you could be led to that assumption. There have been many times when I have come face to face with traumatic events. I have been forced to make decisions that I would later believe were mistakes. I have suffered considerable loss in my lifetime. I have known pain deeper than most people can imagine. I, too have the scars that abuse and life choices can leave. I have even had moments where I felt completely alone and isolated.

  But just as surely as the troubles appeared...they would eventually disappear. There are times when we are faced with terrible life altering circumstances that would appear to make us feel victimized or helpless. Everyone experiences this...in one way or another. The importance is not in what happened...but how you rose above it. What happened in that moment when you felt like all hope was lost? How did you get past that ordeal?

  Often we are tested and it seems unfair or cruel...as if we are left all alone...but we really aren’t. We should use these experiences as spring boards to uplift others. I have found ways of taking my hurtful experiences to help others who have been in the same or similar situation. The whole idea behind this is to continue the chain of HOPE. Hope is a wondrous thing...it can make us decide to get up every single time we fall down. All we really need is for someone to tell us that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We really only need to feel like we are not left alone...someone understands.

  I am here to let you know...hope springs eternal. It doesn’t have an expiration date. Hope is recyclable...once you have hope...then you can pass it on to someone else. It never leaves us...we just have to remember that we have it. NO one can take hope away from us...all they can do is make us pack it away. But when you remember that you have it...it will be there for you.

  Hope is a gift from God...it is that thing that gives us drive. Hope is what gives victims of abuse the strength to survive. Hope is the feeling we give others with the knowledge that they do not have to walk through life alone. It is reassurance...that we also know what they are feeling and coping with. It is important for all of us to know that...adversity is not the end of our story...it’s just the action in the middle. And I know this because all things begin and end with God.

  Do you ever wonder what makes people cry when something good happens? Or why people cry during a romantic or suspenseful movie with a loving ending? Why do we cry when we watch a baby smile or say their first word? Why do we cry when we see a loved one after an extended period of time?

  We cry during these times because it is our proof that God is all around us. We aren’t alone. We are so loved that we get to experience a baby’s smile and laughter. We have hope...for the future of ourselves and our loved ones. It gives us reason to go on.

  Having hope gives us peace...peace of mind. It fills our hearts with the hope that one day we won’t be at war...one day we won’t have children starving...one day we will be accepted for who we are and not what we look like. It gives the hope to believe that one day our fellow man will love us...as we love him. It gives us the hope to believe that people will stop killing...killing our neighbors....killing our friends...killing our families...that man will stop killing our hope...for the future.

 

Bent But Not Broken

Bent But Not Broken

  I can recall having conversations with people where the language or tone that they used seemed to hang in the air…like jagged glass. You could almost feel yourself ducking and diving from the impending injury that the words were intended to cause. There are certain words…demeaning…insulting…degrading words that are used like weapons. And there is no mistaking that these weapons are intended to destroy. They may not destroy us, in the literal sense, but they can chip a way at our inner being. Unfortunately what tends to happen is that we direct our anger or frustration of these words, comments or conversations on unsuspecting individuals, who are undeserving of such treatment. This like most things can be a vicious cycle.

  People can impede our progress by creating a wave of negativity which can become extremely destructive…to us or others. When such things are said to us…it is similar to inhaling small doses of poison over an extended period of time. The primary use of any poison is to kill. Verbal poison does not only make us feel bad, but can literally destroy our spirit. I can think of no reason that such behavior should be acceptable. It is only our loving nature that allows us to sit still when others say things that are obviously malicious in intent.

  To say that it is anything other than our good nature that allows us to participate…actively or inactively…in such conversations…would mean that our intent was also poisonous in nature. It is not…no matter what anyone may contend…our nature to be destructive to one another. We have simply for gotten the other part of us. We have forgotten how good it feels when someone is saying nice, kind and loving things to us. If you ever want to test the theory…hold a door open to a stranger...look at the response. Loving behavior begets loving responses.

  I am not suggesting that you hand out money on a street corner…but I am saying use simple loving statements to people. A simple “thank you” and Good Morning” statement can change the course of some one’s day. With this knowledge…it is also true that being intentionally rude or cruel to people also creates the same behavior. So now can we really sit and judge people for not being kind and good to each other without looking at ourselves and actions more carefully?

  I promise you, the next time someone tries to create a negative conversation with you…concerning you or another human being…if you walk away…they will eventually realize that the behavior is unacceptable to you. Not only this but, to engage in a negative conversation with anyone…just creates more negativity…poison. Walking away is a form of preserving our environment…ridding our atmosphere of hate pollution.

  Even walking away does not have to be negative…just politely let the speaker know that you don’t engage in gossip, or slanderous behavior. Perhaps you will help to show them that what they are doing is not productive. However, even if they do not see it that way…they will know where you stand as an individual.

  I think that we have all been victim of negativity…either directly or indirectly. So this next statement is very important to remember. You are bent…not broken. What does this mean? Simply put…some of the strongest materials have to bend to a forces that appears stronger than them …temporarily. Steel can bow to a stronger wind…an aged oak tree moves when the forces of nature will it to be so…but very seldom do they break. Have you ever thought that you couldn’t take any more…of whatever you are being faced with? Yet…here you are today…bent but not broken. You have learned and adapted. But please understand something…you were allowed to survive. Our Creator had bigger plans for you…and those plans did not include retaliation. We were meant to be forgiving…loving and peace minded souls. We were created to persevere. We will always come up against those who want to challenge our God-given nature. We will meet and be touched by those that only want to cause harm and hurt. But we control what effect they have within us. No one can disrupt my peace unless I allow it to happen. This is very important, because it is a public service announcement…you may throw me off balance…but I will steady myself and I will walk away unscathed…because I was created of peace.

  Everyday when I wake up…I have already decided who I am going to be that day. I have already decided that I am going to remain positive…in the wake of war. I have decided to be peaceful…while our world is killing just for the sake of the kill. I will be loving even in a world that hates just because of the tone of my skin. And I will stand up for those who can not stand up for themselves…because I am of God.

  Why is Bent but not Broken such an important statement to me? Well, it was a lesson my sister taught me a long time ago. And the lesson was simple…you may have bumps and bruises and even scars from life…but it didn’t kill you…you lived to tell the story. It is about giving thanks…divinely.

 

  

Forgive Us

Forgive Us

 Often, myself included, we will drop to our knees when we are in need of something which we feel would be unattainable without your assistance. We remember to reach toward heaven when we feel weak or desperate…with no place to rest our weary hearts. I want to thank you and acknowledge all of the bountiful gifts that you send our way, and apologize for those we don’t seem to be grateful for.

 But today, I want to ask your forgiveness…for all that we don’t say and for all the things we do or fail to do. Please forgive us for not falling to our knees, humbling ourselves, every given moment possible. Forgive us for not only creating wars, but for breeding hate…among our fellow man. We make excuses for the reasons we say war is necessary…but is the cost of a tank of gas really worth the innocent lives of men, women and children? Forgive us for being so self indulgent that we believe, that we are better than anyone or anything else…on your earth. How dare we belittle another person for not being exactly like we are…when did we become so arrogant? I humbly apologize for mankind believing that we have the right to take another life…for whatever reason. Our justifications for murder, on any level, are just created to absolve us for any feelings of guilt…and we should feel guilty…because how can we believe we have the right to destroy life when it was created by you? Forgive us for standing by and watching, as innocent children are abused and murdered everyday…by the very parents that were supposed to guard and protect them. How lazy we have gotten, when did parenting become a chore…and not the gift that you bestowed upon us? Forgive us for preaching about how much we love our fellow man…while selling poison to him on the very streets our children play on. Who are we to glorify, and make excuses for men and women who sell drugs to every man, woman or child who have their hand out? What kind of people create petitions to force a homeless person to vacate a bridge…because it bothers us to see some one in that state? I suppose it would be too much to try and help him/her find housing or a job…after all everyone just loves having no place to call their own. Forgive us for using televisions, computers and gaming systems as replacements for active parenting. When did we stop caring what happened in our children’s classes? Why do we no longer question what our children are taught? Forgive the absent fathers and mothers, who fool themselves into believing that their absence doesn’t matter. If for one moment the absent parent had to listen to a child cry themselves to sleep because they hold themselves responsible for the abandonment…maybe they would see things differently. Forgive us for not taking the time to spread love and joy to our neighbors…regardless of race, creed, and religion. I’m not sure why we are of the belief that we are superior to anyone or anything.

 I ask that you forgive us for destroying the very forests that took hundreds of years to grow…and for destroying the communities of living organisms that depended on that growth for survival….and shame on us for believing that replanting a tree would make up for that act. Forgive us for being so thoughtless that we throw trash into a body of water…where marine life is trying to survive. I guess if some one threw trash into a glass of water we were trying to drink…we might feel differently. Forgive us for all the people we have enslaved, killed, raped, tortured, and demeaned…for our own greedy purposes. And please help us learn from this huge error in judgment…so that we can stop making the same mistakes over and over again.

 I ask that you forgive us…so that with your guidance we can learn to appreciate all that you have given us. And with this knowledge we can teach, by example, our children to love all that you created for us. Help us to stop making excuses and start making amends. Please allow us the opportunity to learn how to love without bias, and show us how important it is to not only reach out…but lift up.

Rays of light

Rays of Light

I wanted to take a moment to share God’s Rays of Light with you, so maybe it will show the divine way in which God gives us HIS unwavering love.

 I have always known that all that happens has a greater purpose or reason…even though we may not fully understand why it was/is necessary. How many of us have met some one and we were certain that he/she was “THE ONE”? And in time the relationship would fall apart, for whatever reason. I can remember, personally, feeling lost…not understanding why God would allow that to happen. It would take years before I could see that the relationship was not as perfect as I may have convinced myself that it was. In time I came to realize that God would use many people to help me see what I needed in my life…by showing me what I didn’t need. However I had to experience the things I didn’t need to see what they were. Maturity helped me realize that if the relationship had continued…I would have missed out on what HE had been preparing me for my entire life.

 I have noticed that often people have used an illness to try and dispel the fact that we are loved highly. After all why would a God who loves us allow us or others to suffer? I always try to keep in mind that there is a lesson in everything, so I always ask myself what I can learn from this experience. Perhaps I needed to slow down, because I was losing sight of what was really important, and I had not been using the gifts God had given me. It is, of course, always harder to watch others suffer…so in my attempt to understand the lesson in that…I had to search deeply within myself. I couldn’t imagine what lesson a child who is starving, would need to learn. I certainly couldn’t believe that the child had done anything wrong…or deserving of the affliction or circumstance. Was God overlooking that child’s prayers? Then one day, I saw the larger picture. The TRUE LESSON in having to watch a child starve to death…was in the fact that…we WATCHED. We didn’t take any responsibility for trying to help. Perhaps when the child prayed to God for help…God responded by bringing the child to our attention. So given that perspective…it wasn’t God that failed the starving child…it was us.

 Do we ever consider the fact that people are brought into our sight, for a very specific reason? How do we drive past a homeless person on the street, who is asking for help, as if we don’t see them? Almost ironically, we will shake our heads in disbelief when we hear of a man beating his wife or child to death…yet sit idly while they are being verbally abused. How many times have you heard some one say…some one should have done something? Next time, be completely honest with yourself…why didn’t you do something? What if you were the life line that God threw to that person…and you acted like it wasn’t your place? What is your place? Are our heads and hearts in the right place? After all it is our hearts which tell us what we should care about…and heads which tell us to take action. Does your head listen to your heart?

 God is loving…but the window of opportunity to do the right thing…can be brief. We blindly go about our days, as if it isn’t our job to look out for other people, especially if they don’t play a major part in our daily lives; I just can’t imagine there being a more important job than to love one another. Its like leaving something laying in the middle of the floor…and walking over top of it, waiting for some one else to take the initiative to pick it up. The problem being…everyone is waiting on some one else to pick it up. Doing the right thing is easy…we make it hard.

 The beauty of God is all around us, we see it daily. Have you ever seen a flower grow in the middle of a sidewalk? It is God’s way of showing us that even amidst mans destruction of this earth…He will allow a flower to grow…in an unexpected place. The question is will we appreciate the blessing of the flower or plow it down?

 What are God’s RAYS of LIGHT? God’s way of showing us a negative situation…which man has allowed to occur…and giving us the opportunity to make it better, through love and peace.

Did You Know

Did You Know?

    I try and write as much as I can about parents and their children…for I know that parenting is the most important job you will ever have. It is truly sad to know that so many parents take that job so lightly. We will have a million excuses for poor parenting…I work a lot…I am too tired to deal with them…and we will follow that up with an equally insulting remark such as…they know I love them. Shame on us…having and raising children is a gift. And we behave as if it is a chore which is inconvenient to us. Please don’t think that I am only referring to mothers…because I absolutely am not. It takes two people to have a child…one should not bear all of the responsibility.

  What lessons are you teaching your children? Are you counting on their schools to teach them all that they need to know? Because in case you didn’t know, let me be the first to say…the state of our public school systems is seriously lacking. What lessons are you, as parents, teaching your children? The important lessons…the lessons which will give them the tools that they need to be successful in the world.

  I am not referring to success in the financial sense…but in the sense where they are succeeding in being loving and kind to one another. Did you know that you cannot hug your child too much? Did you know that saying I love you…only cost you a moment of your time; but the chain reaction of those lessons will resonate in your child for a lifetime.

  Behind every loving adult is someone who showed them how to be loving. It is equally true to say that for every adult who exhibits hate or contempt towards others…there is someone who also taught them to be that person. We don’t have to tell our children how to love or hate…because they watch our behaviors…which is a lesson all in itself. It would be ridiculous for a man who physically or verbally abuses his wife or children…to tell his child to be kind to others. The lesson is found in the observation.

  Did you know that the child you are raising could be the next President of our country, Prime Minister, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, or more importantly…he/she could become someone else’s mother or father? That could be a vicious cycle…or a circle of love that will spill over onto everything and everyone your child ever comes into contact with. Children are not small adults…they are our hope for the future…who do you think makes them hopeful? We do. We are the foundation in which our children build upon…we need to take that seriously.

  Parenting is not easy…not for anyone…which is why everyone may not be up to the task. But for those of us who are parents…its time to step up…and stop making the same old tiring excuses. Did you know that being a parent can be the most rewarding position one could have in this life? Children learn how to be loving and peaceful by experiencing us and how we interact with others.

  We could learn so much from our children…I know because I have a walking smile that lives in my home…and I never doubt for one second how very blessed I am to be able to have the joy she brings to me everyday. She is not my responsibility…she is my reason for being.

  Have you ever just listened to children laugh when they are playing together? I have, many times, and it warmed my heart…I felt elated…it made me feel hopeful. Why does a simple laugh do that? A laugh or giggle from a child is Gods way of saying not to sweat the small stuff…and enjoy the moment. Always give thanks for the moment…because those days do not last long. Have you ever seen a baby smile while they are sleeping? It is one of the most precious gifts we are given.

  I know life can sometimes seem to spiral out of control…but we get to choose the pace in which we live…we can either run through it and hope our children can keep up…or we can walk with our children and stop to smell the flowers along the way. Truthfully, no matter which speed you choose…you are going to get to the same place…but if you walk with your child then you get to see the world through his/her eyes.

  I am asking you to appreciate every moment you can with your child, and stop behaving as if they are a task to be completed. Every time you think that your child is a bother…you should go and speak to a mother or father whose child succumbed to SIDS, or cancer. Go speak to a parent whose child was hit by a drunk driver…or speak to some one who cannot have children…ask them about being burdened with raising a child.

  We have one life…we can use it worrying about trivial things…or we can soak up every moment we have by showering ourselves in the love and laughter of children…you decide.

Blame

Blame

    I was thinking today about an incident that happened when I was a child which disappointed the people that I loved and who loved me the most. The circumstances really don’t matter, because it was the disappointment that I caused which bothered me the most. I was thinking about this today, and it made me think about what God must think of His creation as He looks down upon us. He, who created all things, made everything as it was supposed to be. I wonder how often He is disappointed when He peers down upon those that He loves so much. Do we even care? Does it matter to us now, while we are not only destroying each other, but the earth that we require for our existence? We have grown indifferent towards one another, at best. At worst, we find reasons to hate and kill each other…not just in the physical sense but in the sense that we constantly destroy each others spirit. We find reasons to not speak to people, unless it is to display our displeasure with one another. We don’t seem to know, or want to know one another. We find reasons to dislike or hate one another, based on skin tones…as if any of us had a choice in that matter; we dislike those who don’t believe in God…and we even dislike those that believe in a creator…but choose to worship differently than we do. We point fingers and make fun of those who have less than we have…as if we have been guaranteed to have these things while we are on this earth. We even have encouraged our children to do the same. It’s true that we may not have told them to be that way…but the strongest lesson ever learned truly is the one unspoken, but observed. Our children are literally killing each other…and all we do is place blame on others. We blame the parents, the neighborhood, the religion, or the race for any short comings. Of course, we couldn’t be at fault for any of this; after all we have our own problems. But just out of curiosity…shouldn’t our nation’s children killing each other be our problem? We complain about gangs and the violence they bring…yet we don’t look deeper. Would our children turn to gangs if they had communities that helped provide other options for them? Is that our problem? Well, I guess if we don’t live in that community, we could say that what happens there is not our problem…until the violence from that community comes into your community. Then the solution becomes easy…lock them up…or even better…let them kill each other. Is that the real solution? So instead of us reaching out to help these children, before they turn to gangs…we now have to deal with the result of the gang violence. What would it take for us to care what happens to these kids? Does one of your children have to be killed? Do we really have to let it get that far before we open our eyes to this nationwide epidemic?

  The answer is simple, no it doesn’t have to come to that…but often it does. Children cannot be held responsible for what their parents do or don’t have…they cannot help the fact that they do not have constructive avenues for their spare time. We cannot even say that they should get involved in extracurricular school activities…because our public schools have cut most of the Arts programs and even some of the sports…depending on how deep pocketed their particular school district is. Community centers could be the answer, but even that takes money…in a community that often cannot feed itself. This is where the problem arises, because we are all supposed to look out for each other. If we are ever going to live in harmony…we must reach out to each other.

  How can we expect children, the adults of the future, to be productive citizens if we are constantly showing them that “THEY” aren’t our problem? And sadly, the end result is an angry young adult; who will claim that he/she doesn’t care about anything. But most likely the real truth behind that anger is when the children ask themselves…why didn’t I ever matter to anyone? Can you imagine, being a child, and feeling like you aren’t good enough…which is his/her explanation as to why they have little or nothing?

 We, as a society, tend to only look down upon those that we feel fit a certain stereotypical group. How dare we be so obtuse in our way of thinking? Do we really think that there are people that deserve less than we do? I even heard someone tell me once that certain races are more genetically predisposed to violence than others. Ignorant statements such as these are toxic to the growth of our world.

  This is a continual cycle that spreads like an incurable disease…it seems almost hopeless. But the truth is…it is not hopeless. We weren’t born into darkness…we created or at the very least helped it grow. It is easy to shine God’s light on people…it doesn’t take millions of dollars. We start with one child at a time…give them acknowledgement, encouragement…for those of you that don’t know…that is called loving thy neighbor. For others it means wanting for my brother what I want for myself. What do we all want? What do we all need? Love…and it is our purpose and goal (or if not it should be) to love each other.

  Are your actions loving; even to those who do not know you intimately? Does your smile give others a reason to smile; or does it look rehearsed and in genuine? Do you even smile at all? If you find smiling difficult…find a reason to do it. Smile because you woke up today. Smile because someone looked at you kindly…or held a door open for you. Smile because someone else gave you a smile for no other reason than…to make your day brighter. Give that gift to another person…that…is LOVE.

The Sound of Silence

The Sound of Silence

    The end of humanity does not occur when man does evil…but when man sits and watches…yet does nothing.

    We are armed with all the weapons that we will ever need to defend ourselves, from birth. It is only when we look for outside implements or instrumentation that we actually go against our very purest nature. The very purest part of us is that with which we were created; over time depending on our circumstances and our will to accept that which others find acceptable…we can develop negative or destructive tendencies. This happens when we no longer attempt to communicate…with our very being. We were created with many means in which to communicate…with our mouths, lips, hands, eyes, ears, even our legs and feet…all can communicate what we are thinking and feeling at any given time.

  For instance I can either speak to you using my mouth…orally creating vibrations which are expressed in words audibly detectable. Or I can just use my lips to mouth the words…with out a sound. Both are forms of communication…but one would actually take active reception. What I mean by that is…the person I am communicating to would really have to pay attention to what I am trying to relay to them. Not only that…but I would have to take my time and make my words easy to receive. Have you ever argued with some one speaking so harshly, and fast that even you can not even remember exactly what you said? Yet the emotion behind the sentiment is never lost…you are angry. However…if you had to take a moment and actually make your words clearly decipherable, due to an inability to yell, or orate any sound at all…then perhaps the communication would not be lost and the emotion would be more even tempered.

  We often we use our bodies as a means of letting other know what we are feeling at the time…often without realizing it. We will point our fingers…which can be interpreted as accusatory or to place blame. We can cross our arms which can be interpreted as I don’t want to hear what you are saying, or I don’t want to disclose something. Of course these things could also mean other things such as pointing when giving direction or folding our arms because we are cold…but again, these are ideas that we are still communicating.

  We can use our legs and feet to position our body in such a way to display our interest or disinterest with what is being said to us. If we sit facing away from someone it clearly states that I am not interested in what you are talking about, or telling me. If I tap my foot it may mean that I am impatient or running out of time. If I stomp my foot it can be out of anger or excitement depending on the dialogue prior.

  But the most important communication tool that we are armed with is our ears.  How carefully do we listen to what is being communicated? If we were asked, could we mirror what we were told or asked? Often, we only hear the first and last thing that is said to us. Which is unfortunate because then we are missing out on the communication.

  We often take these tools of communication for granted. When I was a child …to show us our many blessings my grandmother would blindfold us or have us cover our ears…to show us how carefully we actually listen or watch things. When your vision is impaired in that way…you would be surprised at what we hear that we didn’t hear before…a bird chirping, the snow crunching, footsteps in the distance…and trying to figure out who the footsteps belonged to. We learned that we had to listen carefully to tones and words, because we didn’t have the luxury of seeing a facial expression. When our ears were covered we had to watch things carefully because we couldn’t hear them…or our hearing was impaired to such an extent that it wasn’t clear. We were no longer rushing to say what ever we pleased but actually taking the time to try and read the lips and expressions being communicated to us. Now, of course, the entire purpose of this exercise was not to punish us, but to teach us that we need to take more time with life. We needed to take time to smell the flowers, to watch a sunset, to be more loving and kind with one another.

  Why do we dislike the silent treatment? Because we want to communicate…but often we would rather wage war than take the time to actively listen and participate in a conversation. We would rather lash out than to calmly verbalize what we are thinking and feeling. Words can be like weapons…the can inform us or others…or they can cut like a knife. I can remember, as a child, hearing certain tones and unflattering words that adults used towards one another. They were not speaking to me, no one was calling me names…no one was angry at me. But I absorbed the words…it hurt deep inside of me…it felt like my insides were shaking. I felt violated, like someone had picked up a club and hit me in my stomach. Of course the adults that were doing this made up, they moved on…but I will never forget the feeling it left me with. I was scarred…and even now when I hear certain words I get the same feeling again.

  We, as human beings have the power to create or destroy and we do so everyday. We build up people or we tear them down…every single day. The point being, with that knowledge…which will you choose to do? We have the power to make each day better then the one previous…just by opening our mouths, our minds and our hearts. We can leave loving embraces on the hearts of our fellow man or we can scar them. Keeping in mind very often when we scar people they lash out at others…leaving them scarred, as well. We create a cycle no matter which way we go…but we get to choose which road to take. All that I am suggesting is that we choose that which will help uplift and rejuvenate. If we leave loving kind words…they will resonate in people…and hopefully that will be the trend.

   Does it sound like I am being unrealistic? Talking about love towards our fellow man…I have been told that it does. The thing is this…if being loving towards each other seems like a foreign idea…it is only because we have been living for too long with the idea that we must kill or be killed.

The Art of Delightful Debate

The Art of Delightful Debate

The one person I would go to, no matter what was going on in my life, was my sister…who just passed away this January. No matter what the problem was she would listen intently…and then remind me to laugh at myself. She would tell me to give myself 15 minutes to freak out…cry, scream, yell, stomp…do whatever I wanted in that 15 minutes. After the 15 minutes was over, we would look at options and solutions.

  That was a very important lesson, because often times we will be upset about a situation or circumstance and we will internalize it; not giving ourselves the opportunity to let it out. This frustration that we would carry around with us becomes something dark, and can prohibit us from being loving towards others. Anger doesn’t want to be bottled up…it wants to be released; unfortunately what tends to happen is that we will turn our frustration, angst and disgust onto unsuspecting bystanders. We will answer people sharply, or snap at our children or spouse, and they will never have seen it coming. And this is all because we didn’t know how to or chose not to release this negativity.

  When I feel this way…I love to write, because in my writing I can see the anger, and by the end of the blog or letter…I can find a loving peaceful way to resolve the issue within myself. If only we could always proof read what we say to others, prior to engaging in the battle of tongues. If we had a transcript of what we said and what others said to us, we would, perhaps, be able to see where one or the other crossed the line. And we could make note of what was really meant and what was a defensive mechanism kicking in.

  Often we don’t realize that our mouths can be more brutal than our fists. We can heal from a bump or bruise, but the words and tones that we leave others with, can be emotionally scarring. I know that I have gotten into a heated discussion or debate with some one I loved before, and the words they said to me would still linger. In my mind, I could not reconcile what was said out of hurt and anger…and what was truth. This becomes a problem because often when discussions become heated, we lash out at the people we are speaking to, without realizing that we are being malicious. I wonder if we could preview the conversation before actually saying it, what would we change?

  I am now calling this the “Art of Delightful Debate”. Why delightful? Well that is fairly simple, we can disagree and not be rude or angry. If we listen carefully to what is being relayed to us, we can see another’s point more readily. However if we are so busy thinking of a rebuttal that could match them…or put them in their appropriate place…we miss the communication. I know that sometimes it can be difficult to be patient, because we often make assumptions about what is going to be said; but impatience can often be detrimental to the message. And even worse than interrupting the speaker is to, pretend to pay attention, or roll your eyes or cross your arms across your chest. All of these actions send very clear messages to the speaker…what you are saying is not important to me, so could you just be quiet? Often it isn’t quite so nicely put, either.

  When I was a young girl I can remember being talked to by an older family member, after they got done speaking they said, do you understand what I just said? Of course, I said yes, not expecting the earth shattering response that would follow. “So if you understood what I said…tell me what I said”. All I could offer was a deer in the head light look, and I can assure you that had I really listened…it would have been a much better day for me. Lol.

  Communication is very important, everything communicates. Animals communicate, even trees and plants communicate, and you only have to pay attention to what they are saying. For instance when a leaf of a plant or tree is turned upside down, it means that is going to rain. If a plants leaves or blooms are sagging…it means they need water. Animals have very heightened senses. An animal senses danger or threat of danger, right away; and unlike humans, an animal does not talk themselves out of being cautious. A wolf doesn’t sense that something is coming and then say….it’s probably just the wind. No, a wolf will leave, or prepare to fight…we, as human beings have the same senses…but we do not listen to ourselves.

  We are highly evolved beings with various means of communication at our disposal, yet we rarely listen to our inner voice. It is often that inner voice that will tell us what to do…even though we may not listen. It is that very voice…that seems to come from nowhere…that is watching out for us. I have always believed that my inner voice is the voice of our creator, guiding me down my path. Showing me the way to whatever destination which is meant for me; all I ever had to do was listen.

  What is the message in all of this? Be respectful in conversations; give to others what you want in return.

 We all want our voices to be heard…it just isn’t always necessary to yell. Sometimes it is those who speak the softest that have the more attentive audience. Often snappy responses are intended to offend the other person, and they just make us appear to be immature or irrational.

  Just listen to what is being communicated and your Art of Delightful Debate…will always be productive.

And A Tear Fell

And A Tear Fell

 The other night, quite by accident, I stumbled across a movie called ‘The Laramie Project’. Once I read a brief description of the movie/docu-drama, I was instantly set on watching this. I must say this was one of the saddest dramas that I had seen in a while, not because its contents were a shock…but because it actually happened to a real person…and some how it struck a chord in me.

 The Laramie Project is about an incident that occurred Oct. 6, 1998; definitely not a current event…but still very much an important issue. On the sixth day of October 1998, two 21 year old young men, Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson, kidnapped, and beat Matthew Shepard (21); such a beating in fact that he, as an end result, passed away. All three of these young men were citizens of Laramie, Wyoming.

 According to the taped and verbal confessions, at the time of the arrest of the two assailants, I learned some very frank facts. One night, at a bar, Matthew Sheppard (a self proclaimed homosexual), was offered a ride home by Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson. During this ride, Aaron McKinney brutally beat Matthew, with his hands and the butt of his hand gun. When asked, Aaron said that Matthew asked him to stop one time…but after that he was too busy getting beat. Russell Henderson drove his truck to a spot high above the city…where the two tied Matthew to a fence post. While Russell pleaded for Aaron to stop, Aaron McKinney continually beat Matthew Shepard half to death. The college freshman was left there for 18 hours before authorities found him. Matthew stayed in a coma for 6 days, and on October 12, 1998, Matthew Shepard passed away.

 The entire drama was about reactions from the townspeople, since all three were local residents. The reactions were varied, which I found rather disturbing. Some people, of course, were sympathetic and empathetic with the Shepard family; but not all were.

 This was a heinous crime, filled with hate, and bigotry. But the terrible truth is, just like it happened in Laramie, it could and in fact, does happen every day. All Matthew did was be different than other people. Matthew was a gay man, period; that was his crime. The fact that everyone in that town was not appalled by this crime was total lunacy. He was beaten, until they got tired and bored with it…and then he was left to die.

 The sad thing about this incident, which is actually an issue, is that even 13 years later, it still happens. People look away while people are harassed about their sexuality, race, religion, socio-economic background, and social affiliations. How long should we look away? How bad does it have to get? How many teenagers have to die; by their own hand or the hand of others…because they are different? How many times do we laugh it off when we hear people we care about use racial slurs, sexist comments, demeaning words, or phrases? Why is ignorance acceptable?

 Life is so short, to even take one minute to degrade another person…is one precious minute of life…..wasted. Why is walking away so difficult? Isn’t the true strength found in the one who walks away rather than in the one who engages in the fight? We have become a society where we need to tear another person down in order to feel good about ourselves.

 The truly frightening reality is that we, as adults, are training our children to hate. We are helping to raise future bigots; who may be capable of hate crimes. Is this what we want? Would you feel comfortable with this…if Matthew had been your son? As statistics can readily show, Matthew is the rule not the exception. He could have been killed because he was a different race, handicapped, poor, or a variety of reasons…he just happened to be gay. If Matthew had been a heterosexual female with blonde hair and blue eyes…would this crime have been more socially unacceptable?

 We need to take a stand. Stand up and fight for the voices that never get heard…because society is busy judging them. Do what is right…hold your head high and stretch your arms to Heaven…before we let another tear fall.

Our Battle

Our Battle

   One day I found my daughter extremely upset and crying. I asked her what was wrong and said “you lied to me”, and sobbed harder. I asked what it was that she thought I had lied to her about, as I try to be as honest, but gentle, as I can. She said “you told me the cancer was gone, but it isn’t”. I had been diagnosed with cervical cancer a few years prior, but it had since gone into remission. I asked her why she would think that I would lie about it, and she went on to explain that she had found pieces of my hair laying on top of the bathroom trash. I tried to explain that I simply had trimmed my hair that day…but she was crying so hard that she couldn’t hear me. Then she asks me, “Are you getting ready to die”? It took a while for me to get her calm enough for me to even have this discussion with her.

  But the truth was that I had never lost any hair due to cancer or the treatments…she had never seen me in that condition. But she had seen movies and TV shows where the cancer patients had lost their hair and eventually died. It was a lot for her beautiful heart to grasp. I went on to explain the different types of cancer, and told her that my cancer was caught early, and even though treatments made me sick…I was fine now. We had a very basic conversation about the disease, and it would be a few years before we had the detailed conversation, when her mind was more mature.

  The problem was that instead of talking to her about the disease when I was diagnosed, because I didn’t want her to worry about me, I just gave her very generic information. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time but, I was wrong. Because she felt that I didn’t tell her enough…she sought information elsewhere, which in this case was the television…where most individuals with cancer lose all their hair and then they die shortly after.

  Even at her young age, she knew that cancer was a frightening thing. So we had many conversations about it from that point there after. I gave her a new perspective on the illness. I told her I never had to live with cancer…it had to live with me. I didn’t have to fight cancer …it had to fight me. I explained to her that I had this body first and if it wanted to have it ….it would have to fight me for it. This approach gave her strength; she no longer looked at me as a victim. One day I heard her talking to a friend about my health, and she asked if I was a cancer survivor. And she opened her big brown eyes and said NO, my mom did not survive cancer…IT could not survive her!

The cancer didn’t survive us…and she became my own personal army. I would have to endure several rounds of treatments before it actually went into remission for good…but finally it did. But not everyone has a happy ending, sadly.

  We must be aware of our bodies, get regular physicals, and do routine breast exams. We must become proactive in this fight…it has claimed far too many lives already. Until we have a cure, we must look for signs and use precautions…such as using strong sun screen when going into the sun…don’t ignore unusual moles or skin lesions, if you feel something that you didn’t remember being there before…no matter how miniscule…get it checked.

  Contact the American Cancer Society for support or ways that you can help in this cause…it is worth your time. I pray that no one else has to explain to anyone they love about their fight against cancer…but it isn’t going away by itself. Did you know that there is a different cancer awareness month almost every single month out of the year? This is just showing us how very serious this disease is. Over 40,000 people die from breast cancer every year in the United States that is both men and women…so get the facts. For more information please contact:

http://www.cancer.org/

A Lesson Before Dying

A Lesson Before Dying

Perry Cobb, Darby Williams Tillis, Joseph Burrows, Rolando Cruz, Alejandro Hernandez, Verneal Jimerson, Dennis Williams, Gary Gauger, Carl Lawson, Anthony Porter, Steven Smith, Ronald Jones, Steve Manning, Aaron Patterson, Madison Hobley, Leroy Orange, Stanley Howard, Gordon Steidl, Walter McMillan, Randall Padgett, James Bo Cochran, Gary Drinkard, Wesley Quick, Larry Osborne, Johnny Ross, Curtis Kyles, Shareef Cousin, Michael Graham, Albert Burell, John Thompson, Dan L. Bright, Ryan Matthews, Kirk Bloodsworth, Lawyer Johnson, Peter Limone, Laurence Adams, Sabrina Butler, Clarence Dexter  Jr., Eric Clemmons, Joseph Amrine, Jeremy Sheets, Roberto Miranda, Thomas Gladish, Richard Greer, Ronald Keine, Clarence Smith, Samuel A. Poole, Christopher Spicer, Timothy Hennis, Alfred Rivera, Alan Gell, Gary Beeman, Dale Johnson, Charles Ray Gidden, Clifford Henry Bowen, Richard, Neal Jones, Gregory R. Wilhoit, Adolph Munson, Robert Lee Miller Jr., Ronald Williamson, Neil Faber, Jay C. Smith, William Nieves, Thomas Kimbell Jr., Nicholas Yarris, Harold Wilson, Michal Linder, Warren Douglas Manning, Vernon McManus, Randall Dale Adams, Clarence Bradley, John C. Skelton, Frederico M. Macias, Muneer Deeb, Ricardo Aldape Guerral, Ernest Ray Willis, Earl Washington, Benjamin Harris Jerry Bigelow, Patrick Croy, Troy Lee Jones, Jonathon Treadway, John Henry Knapp, Jimmy Lee Mathers, James Robison, Robert Charles, Ray Krone, David Keaton, Wlbert Lee, Freddie Pitts, Delbert Tibbs, Annibal Jaramillo, Anthony Brown, Joseph Green Brown, Anthony Ray Peek, Juan Ramos, Willie Brown, Larry Troy, Robert Cox, James Richardson, Bradley P. Scott, Andrew Golden, Robert Hayes, Joseph Nahume Green, Frank Lee Smith, Joaquin Jose Martinez, Juan Roberto Melendez, Rudolph Holton, John Ballard, Herman Lindsey, James Creamer, and Earl Charles.

  These are my reasons for being against the Death Penalty…all of these names are real people. And these real people have/had real families…that stood by the them while they were on death row. Collectively these individuals served 964 Years, before being proven to be innocent. And one of these individuals served 33 years before being released; while another died before he could be exonerated…so it was done post mortem. But to take even 1 day away from some one, who was not guilty, is tragic. Life is full of one time experiences…you only take your first step one time, lose your first tooth, say mama or dada, you can only buy your first car…one time. And many of these individuals missed so much more than that, and it can never be given back to them. Even if the state compensates some one monetarily for the lost time…you can not purchase a memory.

  Why am I against the death penalty? I am against anything that includes taking another life. I am against any system that has proven time and time again to be broken and unreliable. I am against anything that takes away years upon years of a person’s life for no reason. Killing is wrong…it says that in many different places, even in religious books. And to kill some one to show society that killing is wrong…just seems to be completely ridiculous to me.

  If the Death Penalty is such an effective means of punishment, why don’t all states use it? If the Death Penalty is such a deterrent for crime…why are we still executing?

  If we were able to catch this many people before their respective states were able to execute them…how many slipped through the cracks? How many innocent people have we killed…for the sake of punishing some one…anyone? How do we sleep at night?

  I can completely understand the grief that losing a loved one can cause. I can understand wanting to punish some one for the crime…but will just ANYONE do? The problem being quite simple…the statistics do not lie…race and money are contributing factors when the death penalty is imposed. I researched in several places…and basically all of them verify what the others says…minorities and the underprivileged make up the majority of inmates on death row.

  We are human, we make mistakes…I simply think that with that knowledge…we risk executing people who are innocent. And no matter what anyone says…one life wasted is too many. Not only for the people who are actually executed…but look at the people who have spent countless years away from their loved ones for a crime that they did not commit.

  It is my expressed opinion that anytime some one finds reason to applaud about a state that has killed 234 more inmates than any other state…there may be a deeper problem there. And any politician that finds applause about this humorous…is a dangerous individual; it is never a victory when some one dies…we all lose.

  Killing some one will not make the victim come back to us…they are in peace. So the execution is for us…and what peace is there when we are taking another life? Why would we desire that another family to go through the same pain and anguish that we have?

  There was an inmate in Texas that was executed this past Summer, Mark Anthony Stroman, who was convicted of killing individuals out of grief for the life of his sister who was killed on 9/11. One of the survivors, a muslim man who Stroman shot in the face Rais Bhuiyan, causing him to be blind in one eye, pleaded for Stroman’s life. Mr. Bhuiyan even started a website to try and spare Mr. Stroman’s life, http://www.worldwithouthate.org/.  This was a remarkable exhibit of forgiveness and compassion…only furthering my belief that we can seek revenge or seek a higher power. And even though Mr. Stroman’s life was not spared, the spirit of what Mr. Bhuiyan did spoke in volumes.

  I realize there will be many people that will disagree with my stand on the death penalty, but I stand firm on this issue…killing is wrong no matter who does it.

Peace and Perseverance

Peace and Perseverance

  For the first time since 2004, a woman was awarded with the Nobel Peace Prize. And to make it a triple treat, there were actually three women given this distinct honor this year; and it could not have been given to 3 more deserving human beings. I simply could not let the momentum pass without singing their distinguished praises myself. I would like to introduce you to 2011 Nobel Peace Prize Honorees:

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

 Ms. Sirleaf is a 72 year old Harvard trained economist. She became not only Liberia’s first female President in 2005, but the first on the entire continent of Africa. She is the reigning president and is coming up for re-election. When she took office in Liberia, she was seen as a reformer and peace maker. She was nicknamed the “IRON LADY”.

Leymah Gbowee

  As head of the Women’s Peace and Security Network, she was honored by the committee for mobilizing women across ethnic and religious dividing lines to bring an end to the war in Liberia and to ensure women’s participation in elections. Ms. Gbowee brought together Christian and Muslim women against the power of Liberia’s warlords. In addition, Ms. Gbowee has since worked to enhance the influence of women in West Africa during and after the war.

Tawakkul Karman

  Ms. Karman, a 32 year old mother who heads the human rights group “Women Journalists Without Chains”, has been a leading figure in protests against Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh. She is known among Yemeni’s as “the Iron Woman” and the “Mother of the Revolution”. The Associated Press adds that “Ms. Karman is a conservative woman fighting for change in a conservative Muslin and tribal society”.

  All three of these women should be commended for doing exemplary work. They can be held as an example to all women and all people everywhere. Just to further my belief that sometimes we must step up when others are stepping back. These women and their predecessors have paved the way for those that will follow; creating social awareness and a promise for the great things yet to come.

  As a woman, I want to thank you for shining your light so brightly.

Marked By Misogyny

Marked by Misogyny

Misogyny.

  This particular topic…I have pondered for close to a month now. It is an issue which of course affects me personally. But for those that didn’t know, or weren’t aware…misogyny is hate of women. Now I realize that this blog will cause people to stir and grumble about it. That actually is the point, and recently I realized that unless you shine light on issues…people will behave like it isn’t even there. And as I have learned when talking about injustices due to race, religious beliefs and bigotry, as a whole, people would rather it not be discussed. But since I am a woman…and it affects me directly, I am not willing to wish it away.

  There will be some people that will say that I am wrong, or that I am making something out of nothing…however, since it is hate against an entire group of people it does warrant an educated discussion.

  Women are often the scale in which manhood is decided…for instance, “you throw like a girl”, along with other various names that men or boys are called that refer to a female or her body parts…used to demean and isolate boys or men.

  Why is it socially acceptable for women to wear a garment usually termed “masculine”, such as jeans or pants…yet when a man or boy wants to dress in attire termed “feminine” he is ridiculed? Why is a girl being called a “tomboy” acceptable but a boy being called girl-like…or anything similar, but not as kind…is an insult? Why is it that we make fun, or create jokes about males who are in the Ballet, nurses (instead of doctors), beauticians, or various other gender biased professions?

  I suppose that who ever started and carries on these ridiculous ideas about women…never really has had a REAL woman in their life. And I say that because the strongest people I have ever known in my life…are all women.

  A woman was chosen to carry an embryo for 40 weeks and give birth to a baby weighing usually around 7-8 pounds. Why do we go to our mothers when it feels like the world is crashing down around our ears? I know men, who I find extremely masculine, that lean on their mothers when their troubles have gotten too heavy. How many men do you know that look for someone they can count on when seeking a wife? Would you feel like you could count on some one weaker than you?

  Let us not confuse compassion, and kindness for weakness. They do not go hand in hand. There have been women throughout history that have broken through barriers created by their male counterparts…which I can assure you makes them anything but weak:

1910 Alice Stebbins Wells became the first female police officer in the United States…she joined the L.A.P.D.

Early 1800’s Molly Williams (a slave) became the first female firefighter in the United States…coincidentally…she was also the first African-American female firefighter also.

1870 Esther Morris became the first female judge in the United States, in the preceding year she helped secure the right for women to vote in the Wyoming territory…where the ratio was 6 men to every one woman.

1917 Loretta Walsh was the first woman to enlist in the military; she joined the United States Navy.

1995 Lt. Kelly Flinn became the first female B-52 Bomber Pilot.

1849 Dr Elizabeth Blackwell became the first woman to graduate from medical school.

  These female pioneers broke through some thoroughly masculine career fields…I can assure you it was not an easy task. And I am certain that like most things, they were heavily scrutinized in their every move. However it did not stop them from making the way for other great women in history and in our lives.

  So the next time that you consider the weaker of the sexes…perhaps you should remember…just because you might say it… doesn’t make it so.

  It is true that women did not choose to carry children, we were created that way…but I have never spoken to a single man that said he could withstand all that birthing a child entails. Remember when we are belittling the women in our society…that means YOUR mom, YOUR grandmother, and YOUR daughter…do you really think she is weak?

School is Out

School is Out

  I have been searching for inspiration so I could write about our public school systems, as when I am inspired, you can always see the message the writing is trying to bring to you. You can not imagine how blessed I felt when this subject matter came up in the post a day suggestion link…I have been smiling all day. Well…I hope you enjoy…lol.

I think the very first time I had really opened my eyes to the public school system was a few years back during November, which was Native American History month. Since I was raised and speak often about my culture to my daughter…she began to wonder why the school would post signs all over the place saying it was Native American History month…yet none of her teachers ever talked about it. She came home one day looking rather, puzzled and frustrated. I asked her what was wrong and we began discussing the problem she had incurred while asking when they were going to learn about the Native American History. Her eyes swelled up with tears as she went on to tell me that her HISTORY teacher expressed to her that Native Americans have not contributed enough to our society to actually warrant having an hour set aside to discuss them. I comforted her the very best that I could, trying to explain that sometimes people are oblivious to how their responses could affect others, and I told her I would go to the school and talk to their principal.

  I did as I told her I would, and asked the principal why it was that Native Americans could have a month dedicated to them by the federal government yet they had no place in the class room…at least not in my daughters class. I was told that it wasn’t that they had not contributed anything to society; but that November was really more about Thanksgiving and Christopher Columbus’ voyage to the New World.  I expressed my disappointment in the school even suggesting that people from my culture contributed nothing to the way we live now and even then. 

  I had always found it offensive to know that our public schools would only take one month out of the year and dedicate it to Black History (February)…as if so few contributions were made by African Americans that it didn’t warrant more attention. It was true that in her school in particular, there were times when 2 African Americans were spoken of, other than during February…those would be Harriet Tubman and George Washington Carver (we live in a huge peanut state).

But it troubled me more to know that even when studying the Black History in February, they would only cover the basics…Martin Luther King Jr., Harriet Tubman, George Washington Carver, Carl Lewis, Rosa Parks and Rev. Jesse Jackson. There were pictures of Malcolm X, but no discussions because #1 he was too controversial and #2 he was not Christian. It was at this point when my head would begin to swell and the headaches came flooding in. I had to sit my daughter down and ask her…do you know who Medgar Evers is. She shook her head, I explained that he was monumental in the civil rights movement; in trying to put an end to segregation…all I got was a blank stare. Then I asked her, do you know what Martin Luther King Jr did that made him famous? She said plainly, he made the I have a dream speech, and then he was killed. She had no idea what was happening in our country at that time, she had no understanding as to how truly awful black people were treated, for just trying to do what everyone else was doing…living. All of this was oblivious to her; she had never heard anyone say anything about public lynching’s, about separate water fountains and bathrooms. She didn’t realize that black people could not go to the movies with white people, that they were treated as second class citizens. All of this disturbed her greatly; especially given the fact that her father is black…she was offended. We all should be offended, especially if we have schools that ignore the parts of history that are controversial. I had to explain to her that this is why there are so many problems today, a lot of people are still angry…because there never seems to be any balancement. I expressed to her, like many other things involving other groups of people, there is no way to make up for some injustices in our society. There are something’s that throwing a bandage on will not cure...but rather, it leaves a huge scar to remind us that we were wronged. I want to talk about James Reese Europe with you right now…but believe me that is another blog completely…lol…I digress.

  I realized at that point, if she was going to continue to stay in public schools that I would have to become extremely involved in what she was being taught. And once I learned that the school really didn’t want my two cents worth, I would just teach her, from home. I would teach her all of the things that the school system left gaps in. I know I should have been more involved to begin with, but I was just thankful that by the time she was in the 6^th or 7^th grade…I was paying close enough attention to what she wasn’t being taught to help cushion what she needed to know.

  Then on April 16, 2007…the most gruesome thing happened. Cho Seung Hui, a 23 year old Virginia Tech Senior; went on a shooting rampage and he killed 32 students before turning a gun on himself. This was the worst massacre in United States history, and it happened in Virginia…where we live.

  Myself, personally, I was physically and emotionally spent on that day. We kept getting updates throughout the day as more murders and injuries had been reported. I was worried about the state my daughter would be in, as she came in from school. At that time she was 13, she had never experienced such brutality in any event. So, she comes in, and is laughing and talking away. I was a little confused thinking she took this very well. I decided that perhaps this was her defense mechanism taking over. I gave her very basic information about it and left it at that; thinking that they would speak to the students about it the next day and offer counseling, as there had to be students disturbed by this act. After all, this event happened at a school, where children were supposed to feel safe and secure. After school the next day, she came home the same as the day previous. I asked her if they talked to the students today about the shootings at Virginia Tech. She said, very simply…..no.

  I became very frustrated by this, and went to the school and asked why they would not discuss something that happened so close to where we were, geographically…not to mention that it happened at a school. I was bluntly told, it wasn’t in their curriculum, and to take time out for this discussion…would set them back a day. I was livid.

  Not only did they not mention it, they didn’t think about the 3 children going to that school, whose sisters and brother went to Virginia Tech. So in short, the school system did not feel that the worst massacre to happen in a school in our country, EVER, was worth a discussion.

  So back to our original topic, what do I think about our public school system? I think it lacks adaptability, it lacks information, and it fails to give our teachers stretching room where they can determine where the students need to1 be, as opposed to where they are. I feel that the school board is so concerned with funding and accreditation that they have lost the reason the schools are even open.

  We only need to look at what happened to the schools in Atlanta, Georgia to know that…the only difference in those schools (where teachers falsified tests, because there jobs were threatened)…and other schools across the country is that Atlanta got caught. Atlanta school district got caught being greedy, and as an end result the public school students became expendable. School stopped being about what the child was getting out of the school and became; what can the school get out of the child. This is such a sad state of affairs, but it is reality.

  What do I think the answer should be? Pay teachers more; the really great ones can be priceless to our children. School boards need to look for teachers that look outside of the box, a teacher who encourages free thinking with intelligent reasoning. We need smaller classrooms, children learn better in a more intimate setting. Right now we are stacking the odds against our children…they are innocent and deserve better.

  Lastly, if you can spare the time, I suggest homeschooling. Children need to know what is going on in our world and often this is found in the experience of life and not in a text book. How can I learn about current events in a text book written 5 years ago? As the public at large we need to step in and participate in our educational system, we can not trust that our kids are getting the best education possible…unless we participate.

  Education today isn’t what my education was, but we can’t just throw our hands up in defeat…we must make strides towards a solution. Our children will be the soundest investment that we ever make. They don’t raise themselves and we can’t let them educate themselves. We must become steadfast and consistent in their lives, showing them that what they are doing is important to us. It may be as simple as going to your child’s classroom randomly…showing our children that we care and showing our schools that we are holding them accountable. Just my take…