A Life Lost

A Life Lost

  I can not imagine what life had become for Rutgers’ freshman Tyler Clementi in September 2010. I have seen videos of him playing the violin, he was very talented. I heard people say that he was a very good and kind person; that is not to say that all people were good and kind to him.

  From what I have read and watched on the news; Tyler was a homosexual young man who was learning to cope with who he was...not unlike most people his age. One night his roommate placed a web cam in their dorm room. On this specific night Tyler was seen in his room with another male...and his roommate allegedly aired it over the web. As with most things on the internet...it went viral; the humiliation of the video was too much for Tyler to deal with. And on Sept 22, 2010 at 8:42p.m.; Tyler Clementi posts on his Face book wall “Jumping off the G.W. Bridge, sorry”. That was the last anyone heard from Tyler Clementi, a life that ended far too soon.

  Now his family must try and move forward...left only with memories of a kind soul...that the world was NOT kind too. Why did Tyler throw himself off the George Washington Bridge? He ended his life, because someone wanted to make fun of him. Someone thought a laugh was more important than compassion.

  I am angered at this situation, because this happens too often. Our children are being bullied and badgered from one extreme to another. Tyler was a child of God...yet we allowed him to be isolated. We made this form of bullying permissible...by simply sitting in front of our computers while this video was live streamed. We didn’t stand up and try to stop it. And in the end, Tyler could not live with the embarrassment...so he ended his grief.

  I intentionally have not mentioned the names of the 2 individuals that were responsible for this incident...not because I am trying to protect them. I am leaving them nameless because the only persons name worthy of remembering...is Tyler Clementi.

  I am writing this to focus on an ongoing problem...bullying. People are no longer just trying to steal lunch money...they are stealing the lives and livelihood of our offspring. It is up to us to put an end to this. No one deserves to feel alone, and deserted. Families don’t deserve to have to pick up the pieces of their broken hearts, because someone thought that humor at the expense of another...was acceptable.

  We are responsible for implementing good, strong, virtuous morals within our children. Every time a child is bullied...it is our world’s problem. Every time a child is fearful of going to school or out to play, because some other child or adult is strong arming them...we are responsible. It is our job to step forward and put our foot down, for those that have not found a way to do it for themselves. We must embrace God’s children...regardless of who they are.

  Young men and women have enough to deal with...just being young adults. Life makes things hard enough, without us pushing things to their limit and making it almost impossible to survive. It saddens me to know that Tyler felt like he had no other choice but to end his young life. I pray that this vicious circle can end here. We all can play a part in making the world a more loving place. Encourage our children to be respectful of others; and in the wake of bullying we should educate our children in the art of compassion. Stand up for those who do not know how to stand up for themselves.

  I pray that God will guide us back onto our true path...we have wasted far too much time.

My World

My World

  Today I want to extend an invitation to you…it is an all day pass to visit “My World”. Don’t worry everything that you will be needing in this 24 hour period will be provided for you. The only stipulation is that you have to leave behind all of your pre-conceived notions of what you think life is really about.

  The first thing that you will notice in my world is that everything is natural…the food tastes better…the air smells more clear…and your mind and body will begin to feel lighter. Do not be alarmed by these changes…these are just adjustments that you will feel when only the love and peace of our creator is free flowing around us. You will notice that the only sounds that you will hear are the birds singing and crickets chirping in the distance.

  When you walk with me we will watch as children are playing together…laughing and running. They aren’t calling each other insulting names or bullying each other…because in my world parents do not speak harshly of one another…so the children remain innocent.

  In my world when the television is turned on there is no bad or destructive news. There are no people protesting or rioting…because my world never got into the shape that your world did. In my world all people are treated fairly…regardless of what they look like, sound like, and no matter how or if the pray.

  In my world we will all sit together at one huge table. We will join hands and give thanks that we woke up today…and we were able to once again join hands…like the large family that we are. You will find skin tones of every hue and our hairstyles and textures will be varied. We will wear different types of clothing…all of which is acceptable…and peaceful. We will dine on foods from every corner of this beautiful earth…and everyday will try to eat something that we had never tried before. We will discuss our day and our plans for the future. We will laugh and sing and talk about our history.

  When we get done eating we will sit around a huge fire pit and talk to our children and listen to the elders tell stories of times past. Our children will ask us about a time when our world wasn’t such a beautiful place. They will ask if it was true that people were killed and maimed because of where they were from…or because of the color of their skin. The children will ask if there really was a time that we chased people out of nations because of their religious practices and beliefs.

  We will all get very quiet, so much so that the crackling of the fire would be the only sound you could hear. Then a soft older voice would say…”sadly, yes…that is so”. The elder would go on to tell the children of a time when we killed those that we could not communicate with…out of fear. He would go on to say that we chose to not only avoid…but banish entire groups of people…to places where they had very little hope of survival. A silent tear would roll down his cheek as he went on to say that we used war as a means of taking care of a problem…killing innocent men, women and children.

  Another elder man began where the other left off stating that when man was unsatisfied with destroying each other…he began destroying the earth. He said that man would dump trash and oil in our many oceans…where our creator placed aquatic beings…until they had a hard time surviving. Man did not even stop when huge whales would beach themselves onto the shores trying to get away from the trash in their homes…the oceans. And when this was not enough he took large ships and dumped oil into our waters…making complete cleanup virtually impossible. Man cut down our mighty forests…leaving animals and living organisms no where to live. He built sky scrapers and interstates…he tore down natural bridges and rock formations. He killed not only his own kind but the mighty animals that had roamed the earth for hundreds of years before him.

  He committed hate crimes…and hid himself behind a mask…sheet…or badge. People no longer felt safe…children cried. There was no place that any one or anything could hide. Man made excuses for wars…yet cried when they too, were attacked; never learning that any animal will turn on you when cornered.

  When asked the old man said, “Yes, the fighting finally stopped”. The fighting stopped when entire nations were destroyed…and bodies of the citizens were lying all around…in their homes…fields…streams. But the victors of this destruction…never found peace…for our creator was angered and as those people destroyed HIS earth and loved creatures…so HE destroyed them.

  One boy laughed…lightening the mood. “Wow, I’m glad it isn’t like that here”. And we all agreed in unison. What is this place anyway? This world is called Heaven.

  And I brought you here today to show you that you still have time to fix what you have broken. It is not too late for you to make amends. You get to go back to your world and make a difference. You can start loving each other right now. You can mend fences and tear down borders anytime you choose. You can decide to be proactive in your life and the lives of those around you. You can stand up…and after you do…others will stand up also. You can create peace starting in your own home…and then in your neighborhood. If everyone did that then there would never be a need for the tragic ending that will inevitably happen…given our current course.

  Understand that loving is our natural course…we decide to destroy. We decide to hate. Now you must decide…where do you stand?

Forgive Us

Forgive Us

 Often, myself included, we will drop to our knees when we are in need of something which we feel would be unattainable without your assistance. We remember to reach toward heaven when we feel weak or desperate…with no place to rest our weary hearts. I want to thank you and acknowledge all of the bountiful gifts that you send our way, and apologize for those we don’t seem to be grateful for.

 But today, I want to ask your forgiveness…for all that we don’t say and for all the things we do or fail to do. Please forgive us for not falling to our knees, humbling ourselves, every given moment possible. Forgive us for not only creating wars, but for breeding hate…among our fellow man. We make excuses for the reasons we say war is necessary…but is the cost of a tank of gas really worth the innocent lives of men, women and children? Forgive us for being so self indulgent that we believe, that we are better than anyone or anything else…on your earth. How dare we belittle another person for not being exactly like we are…when did we become so arrogant? I humbly apologize for mankind believing that we have the right to take another life…for whatever reason. Our justifications for murder, on any level, are just created to absolve us for any feelings of guilt…and we should feel guilty…because how can we believe we have the right to destroy life when it was created by you? Forgive us for standing by and watching, as innocent children are abused and murdered everyday…by the very parents that were supposed to guard and protect them. How lazy we have gotten, when did parenting become a chore…and not the gift that you bestowed upon us? Forgive us for preaching about how much we love our fellow man…while selling poison to him on the very streets our children play on. Who are we to glorify, and make excuses for men and women who sell drugs to every man, woman or child who have their hand out? What kind of people create petitions to force a homeless person to vacate a bridge…because it bothers us to see some one in that state? I suppose it would be too much to try and help him/her find housing or a job…after all everyone just loves having no place to call their own. Forgive us for using televisions, computers and gaming systems as replacements for active parenting. When did we stop caring what happened in our children’s classes? Why do we no longer question what our children are taught? Forgive the absent fathers and mothers, who fool themselves into believing that their absence doesn’t matter. If for one moment the absent parent had to listen to a child cry themselves to sleep because they hold themselves responsible for the abandonment…maybe they would see things differently. Forgive us for not taking the time to spread love and joy to our neighbors…regardless of race, creed, and religion. I’m not sure why we are of the belief that we are superior to anyone or anything.

 I ask that you forgive us for destroying the very forests that took hundreds of years to grow…and for destroying the communities of living organisms that depended on that growth for survival….and shame on us for believing that replanting a tree would make up for that act. Forgive us for being so thoughtless that we throw trash into a body of water…where marine life is trying to survive. I guess if some one threw trash into a glass of water we were trying to drink…we might feel differently. Forgive us for all the people we have enslaved, killed, raped, tortured, and demeaned…for our own greedy purposes. And please help us learn from this huge error in judgment…so that we can stop making the same mistakes over and over again.

 I ask that you forgive us…so that with your guidance we can learn to appreciate all that you have given us. And with this knowledge we can teach, by example, our children to love all that you created for us. Help us to stop making excuses and start making amends. Please allow us the opportunity to learn how to love without bias, and show us how important it is to not only reach out…but lift up.

Marked By Misogyny

Marked by Misogyny

Misogyny.

  This particular topic…I have pondered for close to a month now. It is an issue which of course affects me personally. But for those that didn’t know, or weren’t aware…misogyny is hate of women. Now I realize that this blog will cause people to stir and grumble about it. That actually is the point, and recently I realized that unless you shine light on issues…people will behave like it isn’t even there. And as I have learned when talking about injustices due to race, religious beliefs and bigotry, as a whole, people would rather it not be discussed. But since I am a woman…and it affects me directly, I am not willing to wish it away.

  There will be some people that will say that I am wrong, or that I am making something out of nothing…however, since it is hate against an entire group of people it does warrant an educated discussion.

  Women are often the scale in which manhood is decided…for instance, “you throw like a girl”, along with other various names that men or boys are called that refer to a female or her body parts…used to demean and isolate boys or men.

  Why is it socially acceptable for women to wear a garment usually termed “masculine”, such as jeans or pants…yet when a man or boy wants to dress in attire termed “feminine” he is ridiculed? Why is a girl being called a “tomboy” acceptable but a boy being called girl-like…or anything similar, but not as kind…is an insult? Why is it that we make fun, or create jokes about males who are in the Ballet, nurses (instead of doctors), beauticians, or various other gender biased professions?

  I suppose that who ever started and carries on these ridiculous ideas about women…never really has had a REAL woman in their life. And I say that because the strongest people I have ever known in my life…are all women.

  A woman was chosen to carry an embryo for 40 weeks and give birth to a baby weighing usually around 7-8 pounds. Why do we go to our mothers when it feels like the world is crashing down around our ears? I know men, who I find extremely masculine, that lean on their mothers when their troubles have gotten too heavy. How many men do you know that look for someone they can count on when seeking a wife? Would you feel like you could count on some one weaker than you?

  Let us not confuse compassion, and kindness for weakness. They do not go hand in hand. There have been women throughout history that have broken through barriers created by their male counterparts…which I can assure you makes them anything but weak:

1910 Alice Stebbins Wells became the first female police officer in the United States…she joined the L.A.P.D.

Early 1800’s Molly Williams (a slave) became the first female firefighter in the United States…coincidentally…she was also the first African-American female firefighter also.

1870 Esther Morris became the first female judge in the United States, in the preceding year she helped secure the right for women to vote in the Wyoming territory…where the ratio was 6 men to every one woman.

1917 Loretta Walsh was the first woman to enlist in the military; she joined the United States Navy.

1995 Lt. Kelly Flinn became the first female B-52 Bomber Pilot.

1849 Dr Elizabeth Blackwell became the first woman to graduate from medical school.

  These female pioneers broke through some thoroughly masculine career fields…I can assure you it was not an easy task. And I am certain that like most things, they were heavily scrutinized in their every move. However it did not stop them from making the way for other great women in history and in our lives.

  So the next time that you consider the weaker of the sexes…perhaps you should remember…just because you might say it… doesn’t make it so.

  It is true that women did not choose to carry children, we were created that way…but I have never spoken to a single man that said he could withstand all that birthing a child entails. Remember when we are belittling the women in our society…that means YOUR mom, YOUR grandmother, and YOUR daughter…do you really think she is weak?